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The Problem With Pretty-Girl Alcoholics

31/03/2013 21:03 BST | Updated 31/05/2013 10:12 BST

A pretty-girl lives in a different world from most. A world where doors are always opened. Drinks paid for. Gifts given. Everyone is nice to the pretty-girl. All she has to do is show up, be admired and let everyone else do the majority of the elbow-work. A pretty-girl makes a room more pleasant just by decorating it. Smile, look good, try not to say too much and all the good stuff is hers for the taking. She is always an exception to the rules most are governed by-with just one rule to stick to really:

Nobody likes a pretty-girl drunk.

That's a deal-breaker right here. A pretty-girl who is a little bit tipsy? Cute. A pretty-girl a little unsteady on her feet? A bit giggly? Charming. But a pretty-girl who is a messy, sloppy, belligerent drunk receives twice the vitriol reserved for even the most unsavoury of drunken characters. It offends us, seeing this pretty girl displaying her internal ugliness for all to see. It's like taking a shop window display and covering it in garbage. Nobody wants to see that. Keep your window displays clean and bright. Keep your pretty-girl alcoholics in the dark where no one can see them. To see a girl who looks like a princess behave like a tramp feels wrong. Jarring. Confusing. Incredibly uncomfortable.

God forbid we should feel uncomfortable. Nobody wants that.

Actually the real danger for a pretty-girl alcoholic is when she tries to get sober. If we all look away in disgust when she is on a bender? We don't see her for what she is. So when she does try to get help she is often dismissed. Nobody likes to take a pretty-girl too seriously, spoils the fun of them a bit. So as much help as a pretty-girl gets in the world of door-opening and drink-buying, she will struggle to get someone to see her as an ugly alcoholic unless she is displaying that ugliness right in that very moment.

It's all just a big fuss over nothing really.

And if she does get help? Seeks treatment and decides to stay sober? Then she is a damaged pretty-girl. A girl in recovery. And there is something slightly irresistible about a damaged pretty-girl. She won't have to pick up the pieces of her life alone if she doesn't want to, (and seriously-who wants to?) there will be a queue of men who love damaged pretty-girls. Who want to be the medicine for her pain. And it's pretty impossible to achieve long-term sobriety whilst leaning on someone else for emotional support. It has to be an inside job. It takes real effort for a pretty-girl to turn a knight in shining armour away. To say "not yet, come back when I'm fixed please". Particularly as it will be the first time she's ever had to be alone in her life.

Nobody like a single pretty-girl. Seems a waste really.

A pretty-girl alcoholic has to take her drinking problem very seriously. Because honestly no one else will. As much as they are an affront to public decency, they are still a problem we would all very much like to wish away-without having to do anything about it personally. Which is a shame because we are killing our pretty-girl alcoholics with our double standards and our need for beauty to remain beautiful.

She's really pretty, until she opens her mouth.

If you are a pretty-girl alcoholic, today would be a very good day to confess your ugly secret. Bravery is beautiful. So is honesty. And you won't be alone if you can find both of these things inside yourself and get help.

Recovery is Beautiful, I promise.