Learning to love and accept yourself may seem a little bit odd. I know when I first began my journey to lose weight and become healthier I found this concept of 'self-love' weird and unnecessary. I didn't think it could really do much other than make me feel uncomfortable as I told myself how much I loved myself. Mainly because at the time I didn't. I really really didn't.
I didn't just 'not love myself,' I didn't actually even like myself. I was angry at myself for so many different things in my past and it not only held me back in my own relationship with myself but got in the way of my relationships with those around me and made me less productive in my everyday life. Had I started working on flexing my self-love myself from the beginning, things would have been much easier. But it was one of the last things I worked on.
As part of my health coaching program, I encourage women to be honest with themselves and to learn to accept themselves. One of the biggest ways in which this process can begin is with an open, honest, and loving letter written to yourself, apologising for how you have treated yourself and then setting a short declaration for how you will change that. This helps clear emotional blockages (which can also help with weight loss blockages) and is an extremely freeing challenge.
Now I know you are probably thinking 'woman, really? A letter to myself, apologising?' But don't knock it till you try it!!
Most of us can benefit from this, and in a frighteningly overly open way by exposing all my insecurities and fears, I feel by sharing my most recent and personal letter to myself, it may help to inspire you to reflect on how you treat yourself and will hopefully spark in you the courage to write yourself a letter and start to move forward in your life.
An Open Apology to Myself:
'Cat,
It's been a while since I've taken a good step back and looked at how I've been treating you lately. I've noticed that at times I haven't been all that nice, in fact I have been downright cruel. I don't blame you for feeling tired, puffy, and worn out. Because I have done that to you.
I've been abusing you with words.
I've been second guessing you.
I've been waking you up at night with racing thoughts.
I've been screaming at you in your head to keep pushing that little bit further through the pain.
I've been comparing you against other people.
I've been that nasty little mean voice in your head that chimes in at the most inconvenient times and tells you that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough or ready for certain things.
But what or who am I measuring you against?
What standards am I holding you up to?
What am I declaring and deciding is 'enough'? The impossible demands I keep expecting of you are not achievable. I have been getting frustrated with you because I have been expecting you to be perfect.
Enough is enough.
Let's stop with your nasty thoughts towards yourself. What good are they actually doing?
You have changed so much over the years and it's time you reflected on that and appreciated all the effort you have put in. You are not the same person you once were.
You are worthy. You are smart. You are lovable. You are beautiful. You are unique.
You are Enough.
You may still be a work in progress, but that is perfect. You are challenging yourself and learning and growing. So what if you can't run as fast as you used to, or you cant do certain yoga poses.
There is only one you in this world, and you'll be damned if anyone else does a better job at being you than you. Stop comparing yourself to others and just be you.
Your life is short so stop wasting time and energy worrying what anyone else thinks or other things that are out of your control.
Just be you, guilt free, worry free, and apology free.
Do not dampen your light or your message because you are worried to shine too brightly or worried who's feathers may get ruffled. Sparkle, shine, speak your truth and be you.'
I urge you to try this for yourself. Write it, read it, accept it. Learn to love and accept yourself and stop placing so much pressure on yourself. Join me here if you need support and some extra love.