Imagine this: our 91-year-old Queen sitting next to a petulant child in a golden carriage going up the Mall to Buckingham Palace. This time last year it would have been hard to believe, but yes it is actually happening!
Just in case it isn't already apparent, that petulant child is, of course, the President of the United States, Donald Trump. A man who is so hell-bent on turning the US into an enemy of the United Kingdom, we cannot trust him with British intelligence.
On Saturday, terror struck the British capital as a van ploughed through a crowd of people on London Bridge, before the three terrorists ran out of the vehicle and began stabbing anybody in their way.
World leaders flocked to social media to post their messages of condolence. From Angela Merkle to Bill Turnbull, it was a universal dignified and solemn response as would be expected in these circumstances.
But then the orange man-child appeared and made a covfefe of the whole situation. Instead of offering sincere condolences and support, he openly mocked the Muslim Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, in a move that has shocked and repulsed every single right-thinking member of society.
At least 7 dead and 48 wounded in terror attack and Mayor of London says there is "no reason to be alarmed!"
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 4, 2017
The President tweeted that the Mayor had said "there is no need to be alarmed" following the attack. However, what the Mayor actually said was that people not need to be alarmed about the extra armed officers and police boats patrolling the water - a sign of reassurance.
Mr Khan's spokesperson said that the Mayor would not dignify a response to Trump's "ill-informed" tweet, and politicians from across the political spectrum have been quick to denounce the comments.
At a press conference on Monday, Prime Minister Theresa May was asked about this and whether she would publically condemn Trump. Although she refused to do so, Mrs May said that Mr Khan is an "excellent Mayor".
A couple of hours later, Trump's small hands reached out for his phone again as he tweeted that Mr Khan was using "pathetic" excuses.
Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017
In the aftermath of 9/11, can you imagine any world leader attacking New York's Mayor Giuliani as Trump is attacking Sadiq Khan.
Stop your riddles and rhymes Donald, just come out and say it: "Why the hell does London have a Muslim Mayor?"
This time next week we might have a new Prime Minister or the office might remain in the hands of Theresa May. Either way, whoever takes the keys to Number 10 has a duty to stand up for British values and must rescind the invitation of a State Visit immediately!
A Prime Minister who will not stand up and openly condemn bigotry and xenophobic racism is not fit to lead our country. Donald Trump is trying to make the USA an enemy of the United Kingdom in more ways than one. He handed in his resignation as the leader of the free world last week when he pulled out of the Paris Climate agreement.
In the Autumn when he is scheduled to arrive in the UK, Trump will meet The Queen, the UK's faith and community leaders and Sadiq Khan. Let's not put Her Majesty and all of our other great dignitaries through the misery of having to meet Trump. The Queen has met some dodgy characters in the past, but none of them would stain her gloves in an orange glow if she accidentally came into contact with them.
It is Theresa May who offered this person a State Visit to the United Kingdom, and if elected on Thursday she has the choice to reverse this ill-informed decision and tell the President where he is not welcome here.
Alternatively, if the Prime Minister (whoever that might be) does not have the guts to rescind the invitation, I'm sure Trump would still get quite a welcome. It just won't be the welcome he was hoping for.