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TV: Great British Bandwagon Jumping Journeys

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Cult BBC TV hit Great British Railway Journeys has proved so popular with teatime viewers that a host of other 'journey' shows are set to follow in its footsteps. All of which begs the question: why bother leaving the house at all?

Great British Bus Journeys

Michael Portillo's patience is tested to the limit as he embarks on a series of journeys aboard the piss-stained upper decks of buses travelling through some of Britain's most colourful inner-city areas. In episode one, Portillo circumnavigates Birmingham onboard Travel West Midlands' number 11A service.

Along the way he samples regional delicacies like fried chicken and chips served in a small cardboard box, smokes cannabis with unemployed local men, and discusses technology with boisterous schoolchildren who demonstrate how to share the latest dubstep tracks via BBM Music.

Great Journeys Back in Time

Each week one person who has received a recent piece of baffling, highly unwanted and completely unexpected news which now threatens to spectacularly wreck a particularly piquant romantic fantasy future featuring haikus and hand-holding at indie gigs is offered the chance to travel back in time using a prototype time machine currently under development at the CERN laboratory in Geneva.

Once back in the past, there is the opportunity to change history and save the future by ritually sacrificing TV presenter Richard Hammond with a bent fish slice. Due to the perplexing vagueries of the Novikov self-consistency principle, despite his bloody death each week, Hammond is miraculously able to return to 2012 unharmed to host the following week's episode and help out another hapless participant.

Great British Journeys Down Narrow Streets - With Journey

Soft-rock band Journey are forced at gunpoint to trudge down a particularly narrow street, while being pelted with rotten vegetables by disgruntled onlookers who are as sick of the San Francisco band's music as they are of soggy amateur choir soap Glee. Week one comes live from The Shambles, York.

Great Self-Discovery Journeys Into Self-Discovery Journey TV Programmes

Over the course of three episodes, magazine features journalist (and aspiring TV presenter) Lara Crumble is joined by reality TV star and glamour model (and aspiring TV presenter) Elissa Honeytrap to take a journey of self-discovery - by sitting in a Shepherd's Bush flat, watching hours and hours of BBC Three self-discovery programmes.

What will this experience teach the pair about themselves? Possibly little more than confirming that it's not possible for one human to eat more than two tubes of Pringles in a single sitting. The series begins on BBC Three this March.

Unforgivable Moldovan Transit Van Journeys

Male celebrities who have paid for the services of prostitutes - yet have also either taken out super-injunctions to prevent the papers reporting this, or made a bloody big fuss about the hacking scandal - are invited to see how far their new-found piety will stretch by taking part in this light-hearted new Saturday night series.

Each male celebrity is dumped in Moldova (without their iPhone). After six months of living in grinding poverty they believe they've been forgotten about. The celebrity is befriended by a local trafficker and offered the chance of a sweaty, illicit journey in the back of a Transit van to Dover, and a new life.

Unfortunately, the second they arrive in Kent each celebrity is beaten up, sold into a despicable nightmare of forced prostitution and compelled to service oblivious former friends who no longer recognise them. From the producers of Take Me Out. Paddy McGuinness presents.