One of the first posts on my blog was 'Stuff Daddy Does to Annoy Mummy': a list of the annoying habits your partner suddenly picks up, or rather always had, but you no longer have patience for after you welcome your first child. Clearly people enjoy a bit of daddy bashing because it's still my most popular post today, to the point where I'm worried it'll be my only legacy and I'll become the blogging equivalent - although a bit less famous and largely less talented - of Steve Brookstein (won The X Factor in 2014 - if you can't remember I feel I've been successful in demonstrating my point). Anyway, I digress... here are the gripes originally on the list:
- After a rough night spent up with baby, the morning comes and he claims he was up as much as you were. Despite the fact you could SEE HIM ASLEEP NEXT TO YOU.
- He spends an hour on the toilet. Why do men do this??
- After a long day with a cranky baby, daddy walks through the door to smiles and giggles.
- The first noises baby makes that sound remotely word-like are: 'Dada'. daddy thinks he's the favourite.
- Just as you manage to get baby to sleep, daddy turns over and makes the bed bounce so violently it wakes him up again.
- Sits your six week old baby in his bouncer in front of Sin City while you have a bath. When you ask what he's doing he replies 'babies like to look at black and white don't they?'. Wait... is it just me who's experienced this?
- Suggests you visit the parents after he's had a night out because he knows the grandparents are so in love with their new grandchild he'll get off scott free, and he'll lap up the sympathy for his self induced headache.
- He snores and wakes everyone up.
- Puts water in the steriliser but doesn't switch it on. No sterile bottles + hungry baby = five minutes of FUN.
- After he's snoozed all night long, wakes up and says, 'he slept through last night didn't he?'. Err, no... YOU slept through last night.
As a few months have passed since I put this list together, naturally I have a few irritations to add and so I thought I'd do an update:
- Shouts you when you're hiding in, *ahem*, cleaning the bathroom to see how long you'll be because your toddler has pooed and he needs help.
- Gatecrashes your bath, your only five minutes of peace in the whole day, bringing with him the dog and the baby who's now parading his annoying V-Tech First Steps Walker in front of the bath. 'Welcome to ourrr learning farmmm, we've got lotsss to show youuu...' is hardly my bath soundtrack of choice.
- Complains there's nothing to eat but shows no interest when asked to assist with the online food shop.
- Responds to, 'now he's walking he needs some proper shoes' with, 'what size do Stan Smiths start in?'. I said PROPER shoes!
- Trying to explain why things have to be done in a particular time frame falls on deaf ears; 'We need to have left by then or we'll still be in the car at lunchtime.' 'Why's he crying?' 'Because it's lunchtime. That's why I said we should've left earlier'. *Sigh*
Disclaimer: - my husband is an amazing daddy and husband and we're so lucky to have him. Despite these little niggles he does so much for us and I'm so grateful.
Do you have any co-parental grievances to share?
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