THE BLOG

M & S Are Selling Pre-Cut Avocados and I'm All For It

27/04/2016 16:16

Marks and Spencers have begun to sell pre-sliced avocados in plastic containers-this after the backlash American grocer Whole Foods endured for marketing pre-peeled oranges in the same manner. Critics say the excessive amounts of packaging involved are wasteful and not worth the negative impact this will have on the environment. I beg to differ.

As I was taking the lift up to my first floor office, avocado lunch in hand, it dawned on me how helpful your product has been in streamlining my work life.

Not since the day I perfectly timed my bowel movement to hit the water at the exact moment the neighbouring stall flushed, have I felt so organised in the workplace.

You know your customer. We are office workers, busy trying make the correct amount of eye contact with passersby in the corridor and figuring out how long to hold the door when someone is approaching from behind. We don't need the added stress of cutting through stubborn avocado pears. They're as tough as jerky.

It's not like one can simply apply the light touch of a fork to create an edible chunk. Not to mention the risk involved in purchasing a whole avocado. No one knows what's hiding beneath that wrinkly, scheming skin-there could be bruising or a high stone-to-flesh ratio, or the wrong level of ripeness.

Avocados have a maturity window of precisely 45 seconds before they go from "too young" to "brown sadness", and you offer your consumer transparency when we feel powerless and vulnerable. The world is a scary and confusing place-North Korea is pursuing nuclear weaponry, Zika Virus is growing into a global threat, Prince Harry has somehow become the hot one-yet you have shone your light in these troubled times.

Kudos, M & S. I'll be putting many more of your sliced avocados in my trolley, right next to my pre-peeled hardboiled eggs, espresso pods, and crust-less bread. (Also, just a heads up, I'm probably going to leave the trolley in some distant corner of the car park next to a seagull who has entangled his neck in a plastic six-pack holder that used to corral my bottled waters.)

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