The Olympics have finished, turned off the flame, shut the door on the stadium and left the building.
They've also left me dazed, desolate and (almost) depressed.
What happens now?
What do I do if a total stranger smiles at me in the street?
What if I never get the chance to wave my Union Flag again?
What if I never get the chance to sit within spitting distance of Kate & William or wave a flag at Zara Phillips and what if I don't get to stand in front of a huge screen with thousands of strangers and scream at someone in lycra?
My life just became a whole lot duller.
The Olympics were like a wonderful two week holiday romance; but one where it wasn't until I got home, unpacked and rinsed the sand out of my underwear that I realised maybe I'm forever changed? Maybe London is forever changed? Maybe the whole country has had a chance to believe in something good and we are all forever changed?
My initial thoughts regarding the games were a mild kind of excitement. I applied for tickets for the gymnastics and the show jumping and amazingly got all that I asked for. My reasons for wanting these tickets was because I live in Greenwich so both the park and the Olympic Arena are within walking distance of my home.
Once the parking restrictions, games lanes and road closures came into affect my enthusiasm dimmed. The closing of Greenwich Park to the public was enough for the red mist to start descending. How the hell was I going to go for my morning run if the park had been dug up and turned into an equestrian centre?
As if my morning run takes precedence over the Olympic Games?
But then came the opening ceremony with it's lunatic eccentricity, it's powerful social relevance and it's enduring message that this was something big, this was something important and this was something we could all be part off; and if you didn't enjoy it?
Well you're like the Grinch that stole Christmas or the Scrooge to Tom Daley's Bob Cratchit.
When Olympic fever hit, it hit us Brit's hard.
Greenwich became a focal part of the games because of the equestrian events and I have never seen the place more vibrant or alive. There wasn't anywhere more beautiful to watch the show jumping or dressage events than within the Naval College and park.Once I took my seat and waved my flag, I forgot all about my morning run and how furious I was at Sebastian Coe for digging up the park in the first place.
Kings & Queens once walked those lawns but I got to breath the same air as Princess Anne & Camilla.
It's a trade off I guess?
Olympians and athletes became celebrities and a new kind of hero. These are the real role models we should all be looking up to. Sports stars are mostly overpaid footballers or overweight and always drunk ex footballers but after these games there is no shame in admitting you're an "Athletic Supporter" - and that's not just something you buy in the underwear section of John Lewis.The reality is that sports men & women are our new reality stars. Hopefully the media will now tire of the Jordan's and Kardashians and the Jessica's and Mo Farah's of this world will now be able to take centre stage. In a post Olympic glow hopefully we will be putting on our running shoes and doing some exercise rather than putting on our accents, fake tans and doing shots.
"Big Brothers" watching you?
Actually he wasn't, he switched over and watched the Olympics.
What is the legacy we are left with?
Hopefully it's a feeling of pride in England? We've had a bumper year this year, even the Queen made a comeback.
Are we all going to get fit and take pride in ourselves? I'm still going for my morning run. I'll just have to wait for the horses to brush their manes, polish their shoes and get the hell out of Greenwich Park.
Are we going to smile at each other and actually take an interest in other peoples lives? I gave up the morning commute to be a writer but hopefully it's now one of smiles and hello's rather than stares and glares, pushes and pokes.
Are we going to invest in sport and encourage children to have self belief and give them something to achieve? The bigger picture is up to the government but hopefully next time a group of deprived inner city youngsters are featured on the News at Ten it will be for running a race and not running from the police.
I watched the "Olympic 2012 Closing Ceremony" on the big screens at Greenwich. The atmosphere was amazing but I couldn't help feeling that the pop stars and performers were second best to the Olympians we'd all just spent the last two weeks with. Pop music, pouting, prancing and preening suddenly seemed puerile and pretentious compared to the Golds, Silvers & Bronzes that had been worked for and won.
Anyone can mime - you don't break world records doing that.
I wanted one more round with the sports stars and I hated that it had come to an end.
It was finally time to pack up and blow out the flame and I watched that part most intently.
Hoping, just hoping, that maybe it was like those magic candles you put on a child's birthday cake?
The ones were you think the flames gone out but it just keeps lighting back up again . . . . .
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