Who is Dave Hill? It’s a question I ask myself often, which is strange considering the kind of access I have. This much I can tell you though- I am the new Hollywood “It” girl, the next Leo, America’s fresh-faced boy next door, and your new best friend all rolled into one. I am a poet, a dancer, and- perhaps most of all- a thief. Soon I am to steal your heart.

More to the point however, I am a writer, performer, musician, actor, comedy-type person, artist, and thinking man living in the Big City, New York to be exact.

On the writing front, I have written for the New York Times, Salon, HBO, Blender, The Huffington Post, FHM UK, XXL, Guitar World, Guitar Player, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, VH1, Spike TV, The Learning Channel, Court TV, and a bunch of other people too. I also wrote "The Black Metal Dialogues", which is pretty much the biggest thing to happen to the Internet since that one picture of the guy with puke coming out of his nose. Additionally, I am the author of the award-winning coffee table book “Down On The Farm: Barnyard Animals Of Note.” It’s pretty incredible.

On the show business front, you might recognize me as the star of the wildly popular “King of Miami” program on the MOJO network (which comes to you in the futuristic high-definition format), or perhaps you’ve seen me on Court TV’s comedy news show “Smoking Gun TV,” which was canceled. I’ve also shown up on the popular MTV, Comedy Central, VH1, Cartoon Network, Sundance Channel, TLC, Current TV, and Spike TV networks a few times. Deal with it. Sometimes I miss being able to walk into the free clinic and stuff without being harassed by people who watch TV really late at night, but for the most part I gotta say this “fame thing” suits me well. Really, really well.

When I’m not busy being on TV all the time, I perform in New York City clubs. I get up on stage and talk about stuff, read something I wrote, dance around a little bit, show a short film I made, or just sort of touch hearts in general. I am also the host of a live chat/variety/donkey show called the Dave Hill Explosion, which is pretty much #1 in its time slot as far as I’m concerned. And one time, during a routine flight layover at the Newark airport, I staged an impromptu one-man interpretation of the award-winning musical Cats entirely within the confines of my trousers. As long as we’re on the topic, I should probably also mention that I have appeared at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen and was named by Variety Magazine as one of their “10 Comics to Watch” in 2007. I’m not messing around with this sh*t.

Aside from all of that stuff, I have also rocked America (and even parts of Canada) as a member of such critically-acclaimed-but-not-so-popular-as-to-be-considered-a-sellout bands as Uptown Sinclair, Cobra Verde, and Sons of Elvis. Lately, I have been rocking people into submission as the singer and guitar player for Valley Lodge and also the guitar player for Children of the Unicorn. There is talk of stickers.

Anyway, so yeah, that's pretty much the deal with me. I could go on but I really don't like talking about myself that much. However, if you would like to go on without me, you can check out my website on the Internet at www.davehillonline.com. Or- if you are a young person- you can "get with" my incredible MySpace page. That would be so great.

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