Trolls, eh? How do I feel about trolls? I hate them, the spiteful, nasty, low life bastards. That's how I feel about trolls.

I have been trolled, trolled real hard. Trolled so hard I haven't slept for days. Trolled so hard my self esteem has been left raw and sore. Sore and raw. Rawsore. Trolling hurts, it hurts bad.

The worst thing about trolling? When people say 'it's part of the job' when you're in the public eye. What they mean is that because someone has dared to work hard, pushed for their dreams, achieved what they set out to do, battled against the odds, produced good work, entertained people, informed people, had the audacity to create a profile so the effort they put into their work gets noticed, or even just experimented with a colorful frock on a red carpet, that they deserve to be told they are fat, ugly, narcissistic, attention seeking, desperate, 'obviously abused', worthless pieces of shit and that their death would be more palatable than their horrifying face.

It's just that, I don't agree it's okay to excuse it as "part of the job".

People have such a weird view on people in the public eye, maybe that's the problem. If Twitter has done anything has it not shown that celebs are people too?

*Group ahhhh face*.

I'm about to unveil a truth, reveal something unthinkable into the public domain. Hold yourself between the legs folks because this might cause some urine to leak from your pee pee holes, but famous people are HUMAN.

*Ducks for cover*

You okay? Is it safe to crack on?

I know loads of famous people - YEAH I ACTUALLY SAID THAT - and none of them are anything but normal. Some of them live in nice big houses because they worked hard for them. Others, like me, live in normal sized houses and like every other bugger out there hope one day to live in a bigger one. Some of us get to go to nice parties and get the odd free lipstick, but we also clean our own bodies, wash our own pants, have parents that give us shit for not brushing our hair, have fat days, insecure days, struggle for cash, can't get laid, stub our toes, misplace our keys and suffer the consequences of a dodgy prawn. We are NORMAL. The only major thing that makes most celebs different from anyone else is that people treat them differently, and more often than not that is actually quite annoying.

Just because someone has chosen to enter into the entertainment industry does not mean that they are better equipped to take anymore shit from horrible people than someone who works on say, a check out at Tesco. And whats more, they don't deserve anymore either. (I deliberately didn't use B&Q as my check out example because...well.)

This doesn't mean people can't have an opinion about people in the public eye, of course they can. I have lots to say about lots of people and it isn't all positive. Critics have always criticised, that is part of the job - although some journalists are just trolls who get paid, but that's another blog completely *makes a grrrrr sound*. Yeah, it's OK to review something badly if the work isn't good enough, that's allowed. But it's the death threats, the soul destroying jibes about how people look, the 'YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO LIVE' type comments that give celebs, or anyone for that matter, the right to retort. Then cry. Or cry then retort, whichever comes most naturally.

But retorting is what we are told not to do. Because that gives the narcissistic, attention seeking troll the satisfaction that you noticed them. And it looks like you care, which proves to them that you are a narcissistic attention seeker rather than just someone who has the right to stick up for themselves.

I find it ridiculous and cruel that a celebrity who admits to being hurt by mean comments is branded as 'someone who cares' and how that's somehow a bad thing.

It's all down to jealousy, of course. Well that is what friends tell you when someone says something awful, but it's hard to believe. But of course it is, what other reason would a person decide to log onto their computer and attack someone they have never met by telling them they have a face like rhinoceros? Rather than just not follow them, or not watch their performances or read their books? Why do trolls torture themselves with absorbing their victims work? I don't watch the people I don't like on TV and I certainly dont follow them on Twitter, because I don't like them. Why do trolls do that to themselves?

(It's because they love them, like properly love them. Obsessively. And that makes them so mad. With themselves. They want to be them. They want them to love them back. It's true).

Many of the negative feelings I have towards other people stem from jealousy. If I'm having a fat day and a skinny pretty girl in a great dress who looks awesome comes near me I am almost certainly going to be so jealous that I could scream 'I HATE YOU' into her face, but I don't. Because I don't really hate her, I hate myself. Me abusing someone who I see as better than me is about me and my jealousy, my inferiority complex, it's nothing to do with her. I just want to be her.

It's OK for people to have bad thoughts. Sometimes they are not something we can control, it's how you execute them that matters. I'm lucky to have the mechanism in my brain that helps me control outbursts. It's the same mechanism that stops all angry people murdering the person they are angry with. It's the mechanism that makes you a good person. Trolls don't have it. Sure, they MIGHT not be murderers but they're still total fucking arseholes with no self control, major self esteem issues and nasty, evil souls that leave them desperate to make other people as full of hate, sadness and loneliness as they are. Twats.

Have I made myself clear about how I feel about trolls?

Follow Dawn Porter on Twitter: www.twitter.com/hotpatooties