Eight days in.
So, I've worked eight days and had one full weekend since returning to work from my nine months' maternity leave with my amazing baby girl, M. I had to attend a conference in the city on Friday, which meant a late finish to the week so I didn't get to enjoy the usual elation of the weekend's arrival (or what I remember the end of the working day on a Friday used to feel like pre-baby). But, at the end of the conference, as I sped home to give Baby M her bedtime feed, I was full of excitement about the two coming days with my beautiful girl. More than full, I felt like I would burst at the thought of two whole days with her. Lots of mummies have told me that working makes you really appreciate and make the most of your quality time with your little one, at weekends and in holidays, and whilst I think I've always made the most of my time with M, I would definitely say I found a new level of appreciation in the time I had with her this weekend.
Mr MBAW took the opportunity to get out into the garden, having completed his first week as stay at home daddy, and so I had Baby M to myself and she had me. For two whole days. If I say it was bliss, that nowhere near does it justice. We snuggled, played, napped, breastfed and ate together, after a week of being apart and I savoured every moment, But alas, Sunday evening came and with it the re-immersion into our new routine. Our new normal that I had set aside for two days. The Sunday blues were nothing spectacular, nothing compared to the weekend before, just a heavy heart at the thought of leaving her, but also the anticipation of the following weekend. So off I went, heading into my second week of work with very little drama compared to the previous Monday. I guess you could say I'm 'back in the flow'. I suppose you're wondering if it's getting easier? Not really. I still miss Baby M every second. I still long to be with her. But I suppose the hardest days have come and gone, and I am more accepting of it now. It is bearable, and I've remembered how to do my job, which believe me, is a relief!!
On my first post I introduced myself as mummy to Baby M. It had become my identity and whilst it is still all I really want to be. It's no longer all I am. I am a school leader. And I'm a working mum. I am a mother that juggles two roles and tries to do her best. I am a different person to the person that left my job nine months previously, a person that I believe is a better version of my old self. I am Baby M's working mummy and hopefully in future years, Baby M's positive role model.
Love to all the working mummy role models.
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