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Dina Behrman

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Should Women use Their Sexuality to Get Ahead?

Posted: 01/09/11 01:00 BST

A new book claims women should exploit their sexuality to get ahead in life. In these times of so-called equality it's disappointing beyond belief to see that the advice being given to our workforces' young women is to get their flirt on.

The controversial book, Honey Money, is written by Catherine Hakim, a sociologist at the London School of Economics, and promotes the idea of 'erotic capital'.
In the same week that Forbes published a list of the world's most powerful women, Hakim argues that females can get ahead by using their sexuality, because of a 'universal male sex deficit' based on the idea that 'men generally want a lot more sex than they get, at all ages.'

Basically, men are gagging for it, because most of their wives and girlfriends don't want as much nookie as they do, therefore us clever women should use our feminine wiles to win over theses sex-starved males and get a promotion. Nice.

Yes, there will always be some men and women who use beauty rather than brains to get ahead. But the idea that all women should resort to using their sex appeal to do well does a disservice to the women who use the traditional traits of hard work and dedication to achieve success. And the idea that all men think with their pants and can so blatantly be won over by women in this way is, frankly, depressing.

Forbes' list of powerful women consists of politicians, CEOs, bankers, cultural icons, billionaires and entrepreneurs -but how many of them have used 'erotic capital' to get where they are?
Did the likes of Angela Merkel, Indra Nooyi, Sonia Gandhi and Christine Lagarde use their sex appeal to become leaders in politics and business? Of course not. Would we even be asking the question if the list was of the world's most powerful men?

Hakim argues that 'physical and social attractiveness deliver substantial benefits in all social interaction - making a person more persuasive, able to secure the co-operation of colleagues, attract customers and sell products.' If that really is the case, how does one account for the success of the likes of the less than aesthetically pleasing Alan Sugar?

Yes, there are arenas where attractive women get ahead, and the less attractive are passed over - the entertainment industry being the most obvious. Women of a certain age are still underrepresented on British TV in favour of their younger, more beautiful counterparts, whilst less attractive, older men continue to be employed.

But does that mean women should be exploiting this to get ahead? Surely we should be working to change the outdated view that women must be pretty to be successful? Hakim's argument merely reinforces it.

There is a disparity in how successful men and women are in the boardroom and beyond, and this is something that needs to be addressed. But teaching women that they need to use sex to be successful is not the way to do it.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Edward Wilkes
Poet/Stage Actor
07:09 PM on 09/05/2011
All women use their assets to get what they want, then when they get what they want they usually want more, so they use it again and as many times as it takes to get more of what they want. Thank god for women that know how to use it!
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Eric Shin
The Asian Superbrain Redundant I know
05:04 PM on 09/04/2011
Women should and men should not use their sexuality to get ahead since they end up as Chippendale's dancers and/or male flight attendents.
01:40 PM on 09/02/2011
I would certainly hope so!!! I love strong women; they are fun! They help me be a stronger man! I trust them; mostly (unless they are half governors of Alaska, or fuming banshees from Tea Party Central in Bachmann land). But I digress... Strong women help me be a better man. I am 168 years old, and I did not ascend to the position of being the world's greatest lover by farting in boxcars! It's a lot of work. If I am with women who are at their best I can better be of service to them. All of my wives agree.

Your servant,

Don Juan, the world's greatest lover.
11:44 AM on 09/02/2011
As I was growing up my grandmother would always say, "us woman are sitting on a gold mine". I never understood what she meant until I was older. I believe if you have it flaunt it. Men have used their power over woman for thousands of years. Well now it our turn.
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wiseman103199
Not right or left! Right or wrong!
04:40 AM on 09/02/2011
NO!
11:51 AM on 09/02/2011
I agree because it is not right and eventually can be used against you. Everyone should get ahead based on skill, talent, and experience.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alexandra Spinner
Cutting edge with no band-aid
02:48 AM on 09/02/2011
It may get your foot in the door, but once you're there, you'd better be prepared to "play ball." 'Cuz you may have sex appeal, but someone is going to expect you to appeal to the sex. That's it and that's all.

Sell out, or just work harder. Take your pick.
11:39 PM on 09/01/2011
Answering the question: YOU BET!
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FoxIslander
Fox Island...no relation to Fox News
11:12 PM on 09/01/2011
A woman using her sex appeal might help at the lower end of the career spectrum and very well might keep her there, however it will do little for you at the top and may, in fact, limit your opportunities.
01:31 AM on 09/02/2011
Well, I don't know about that! It certainly helped several women working for me get to the top. In fact its still working.
Zip Zinzel
If a Nation expects to be both Ignorant & Free . .
11:11 PM on 09/01/2011
Maybe Ick;

I don't know.
BUT The following is one of the most engaging paragraphs I've ever seen:

The controversial book, Honey Money, is written by Catherine Hakim, a sociologist at the London School of Economics, and promotes the idea of 'erotic capital'.

* * * * *

FOR A LOOK AT "REAL" GIRL POWER
please see Charlie Rose's recent interview with PepsiCo's CEO:
Indra Nooyi, an Indian- born American executive
- She is an amazing woman in every aspect!
PLUS +
Forbes magazine ranked Nooyi fourth on the 2008 and 2009 list of The World's 100 Most Powerful Women.
Fortune magazine has named Nooyi number one on its annual ranking of Most Powerful Women in business for 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010.
In 2008, Nooyi was named one of America's Best Leaders by U.S. News & World Report.

{{ Sorry Guys, I don't know what happened to this interview- I know I say it a couple nights ago in the Charlie Rose, but the interview doesn't exist on his website, or anywhere else that I can find }}
Sorry I haven't researched an alternate interview- There are many available, but the Charlie Rose Interview was incredible!
10:54 PM on 09/01/2011
Women don't neek a book to tell them that. They do it instictively. There's nothing wrong with that really. What's wrong is the boss responding to that.
08:51 AM on 09/02/2011
Exactly.
There's no doubt that many, if not most, men are indeed in servitude to their sex drive, and many women manipulate that neediness to threir own ends. But why should we accept this status quo, and, as women, even depend on it to get ahead? Surely the way to go would be for both men and women to undestand these weaknesses and grow above them, not pander to them!

There is noone so strong and admirable than a man who can resist the wiles of a beautiful, manipulative woman. There is nothing so weak and so transitory than a beautiful, manipulative woman. If she has no true ability, one day there will come a time when a younger, more beautiful woman will come along and edge her out. We see this all the time.
Today we have a host of aging femme-fatales spending fortunes on plastic surgery trying to regain their lost charms, and gloating openly about their fantastic sex lives. It's all a bit pathetic.

That's the end result of so-called erotic capital. It's play money.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Connor Alexander
The proper authorities have noted your attitude.
10:42 PM on 09/01/2011
I say use what you have, regardless of gender. Men exploited their physical superiority for centuries to get where they are. If we all use what we have, then the best rise to the top. If a man is too thick headed to realize that he's being played by a woman, than he deserves what he gets.

Is it possible that the examples of female leadership you list used their femininity in ways that they were not even aware of? We may never know.

I don't think the question is 'should women use their sexuality to get ahead?'. I think it's 'when should women use their sexuality to get ahead?'. I think the answer is: When it's appropriate.
07:03 AM on 09/02/2011
agree - use it when it's appropriate to get ahead, also to destroy!
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gagaa
one for all for one
09:55 PM on 09/01/2011
what about men?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank day
Obama cares about all of U.S.
09:23 PM on 09/01/2011
I still use my good looks to my advantage.

( or so I keep telling myself)
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Enea
Reason above all else.
08:26 PM on 09/01/2011
But women do.
07:19 PM on 09/01/2011
Ladies, DON"T DO THIS. In the end you always have to pay up so to speak. And you'll lose respect if people doubt your competancy. That being said, you should maintain an attractive and professional work appearence. The woman who wrote this book has no clue, just so no clue
10:52 PM on 09/01/2011
I'm also amazed. The charter of LSE is impressive, and there some also impressive folks associated with it. The second entry after googling (The Guardian interview) has a picture of a woman ... well, see yourself. It doesn't add up.