At the moment I'm in Devon, enjoying a week away with nothing to do except yoga, reading, getting spa treatments and sit in the private hot-tub that comes with the cottage.
I find it really hard to relax properly. I give people the impression I'm awesome at it, but really, I find it difficult to switch my mind off. Whilst we've been here though, I've had to slow down, mainly because there's minimal phone signal at the cottage, let alone internet (yes, it's one of those hold your phone around your head praying the little bars go up places).
So, whilst I've not had my normal dose of social media and blog reading, I've been doing some soul-searching.
Right now, I'm sat with Jack Johnson playing on my Premium Spotify app on my phone (thank goodness I decided to pay the subscription - there is a reason you need access to music when you're not near a wifi signal!), looking out on to rolling hills and wondering why on earth I'm planning on going back to London in a few days.
Obviously, London does have it's upsides. I'll be able to post this blog post for a start, and anything you need is on tap, except for peace and tranquillity, which I completely forgot about until I got here and was awoken by birds singing...and nothing else :-)
So, with no online stimulation, I've been left to my own devices and the results have been interesting to say the least.
As you know, I'm in the process of working out when and how I will leave my current job in the city and do something more 'worthwhile' full-time and until recently I felt I had this pretty figured out. This week I've thrown a spanner in the works...
I miss yoga. I do yoga at home but not the way I want to, I remember the amazing highs I used to get after training with my friends on our yoga teacher training course. I came home feeling completely renewed, refreshed and relaxed. The energy from being in that environment was immense.
My study allows me to work with people on a deep and emotional level, understanding their needs and motivations and helping them overcome different struggles they are currently facing, but it's not holistic enough for me.
One of the best treatments for depression is exercise, because exercise releases endorphins which make you feel happy. The problem is, for anyone suffering with clinical depression, the idea of going and doing exercise is a mammoth task in itself.
I'd love to see a method which incorporates yoga and therapy specifically focused on mental health. I'm reading about yoga nidra (deep yogic relaxation - a kind of meditation) and yoga therapy and I'm feeling involved and present again in what I'm doing. I'm even looking into the feasibility of finally going to India for a month or so to study traditional yoga in it's natural environment.
What I'm really saying here is that it's okay to change your mind.
If something loses it's magic for you, you always have a choice. You don't have to keep doing it.
I really thought I could niche and focus purely on getting people confident, but I never thought that would be the end of it. I always planned for my work to include other aspects of my life that I've found helpful.
My life's been touched by depression, eating disorders, confidence issues and control issues over the years, and the constant throughout this has been my yoga practice and my love of psychology. So maybe I don't have it all figured out yet, but, actually, I'm quite enjoying the process.
The good thing about not having it all figured out is that you can add to the end goal with all the extra knowledge and experience you'll pick up along the way. By not limiting your options, you're allowing yourself to see a bigger picture.
Choices often give rise to the best innovation. People who are able to see cross-overs between sectors and interests can provide new insights that those focused in on one area might have missed.
Don't put yourself in to a box just yet, break the mould and allow all your life experience in to what you do.
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