PARENTS
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15 Parenting Fails We've All Experienced

The booby traps of being a parent we bet you've tripped into too

30/06/2016 16:31

Sometimes life, not to mention 'truthful' kids, foil our best parenting intentions (and bite us in the bum). Recognise these?

  • 1 Paint panic
    When you're engrossed in a chat with your friend, delighted that your children are finally at that stage of 'playing nicely' only to discover they've daubed their bodies, hair, clothes, the carpet, cushions and cat in that tub of Sudocrem you left within reaching distance.
  • 2 Sweet little lies
    When your child tells their classmates the ice-cream van is playing that song because they've run out of ice-cream - and is jeered for being so sweetly gullible. Sorry darling, adults tell lies.
  • 3 Holiday horror
    When you're admiring the artwork in the school corridor and discover your child's contribution to 'what we did on holiday' is "We went to McDonalds." Yes, we did - on the way to the holiday!
  • 4 Treats and tantrums
    When you give them a special treat that you regret for weeks, months, years. They never forget, expect the same EVERY TIME and throw a Richter-scale tantrum if you don't deliver.
  • 5 Get the message
    When your child answers the phone, and you hear them gleefully telling your boss/the bemused cold caller/your mum (please!) that "Mummy can't come. She's doing a stinky poo."
  • 6 Knot again
    When your child who has learnt to tie their own shoelaces, has also learnt that shoelace-tying should be bent over and accompanied by the all-too-audible groan, "bluhy ell, not again". Mum fail!
  • 7 The best policy?
    Having taught your children always to be honest, you tell the amusement park cashier that your child is four so they can get in for free and they pipe up “No mummy, I’m five”.
  • 8 Shouting shame
    When you overhear your child telling a younger sibling "I said NOW!" in a terrifying tone that you realise is an exact imitation of your own voice.
  • 9 Festive fail
    When your child tells another child far too gleefully that Father Christmas (the Tooth Fairy, the Easter bunny) doesn't exist in front of that child’s appalled parents.
  • 10 Polite persuasion
    When you grip your child's arm firmly because you've come to collect them from a play date, then had to make polite chat for too long with the other mum while persuading your child to stop playing the 'let's hide from mum game' and she squeals, "Mummy, you're HURTING me."
  • 11 Mental floss
    Having to explain to your kids that the Tooth Fairy has a really bad memory so sometimes she forgets.
  • 12 Fatal error
    When you decide it's perfectly safe to cross (OK, it might not tick all the green cross code rules) and your children shriek, "We're going to DIE."
  • 13 High security
    When you encourage your child to hold a cuddly toy/blanket/odd piece of clothing as a sleep aide and comforter and realise that this tatty bit of smelly fabric is now THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR HOUSE and must be guarded constantly. You spend a lot of time trying to find a replacement, combing the internet, as it disintegrates daily.
  • 14 Lost cause
    When you try to wean your child off something you should never have allowed them to get quite so attached to, pore over parenting forums and build up to the big fat lie that 'the Easter bunny has taken your dummy', then crack after hours of weeping and 'find' it again.
  • 15 Rude tube
    When you pop out of the room leaving your child watching an educational nature programme and reappear to discover they've got hold of the TV controls and are staring in awe at something they shouldn’t be watching.

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