STYLE

Woman Has No Time For Boots' Waxing Strips That Left Her Vagina Looking Like A 'Newborn Panda'

'These are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world.' 🐼

01/09/2017 12:29 BST

For anyone who has ever tried (and miserably failed) to give themselves a bikini wax at home, you’ll be pleased to know you aren’t alone in the DIY-grooming disaster department.

This is after Hannah Scorer shared her hilarious review of Boots’ ‘Smooth Care’ wax strips for sensitive skin, which she tried to use for a quick tidy up before going on a date last week.

Instead of a quick fix, she was confronted with “the worst wax strips in the world” that left her looking like a “bright pink newborn panda” according to her public post on the Boots UK Facebook page.

Scorer started her post by saying: “You’re probably questioning just how bad they could be. Well, gather on the carpet because it’s story time.”

Because Scorer was keen not to mess up, the mum decided to be sensible and read the instructions on the packet: It’s not rocket science, but it’s best to be sure, isn’t it? You wouldn’t want waxing to go wrong, would you?”

Feeling like she had the situation in hand, she then went ahead and applied the wax strip, willing to endure the “brief but childbirth-level pain intensity of ripping it off” in order to achieve peachy smoothness.

Instead, the sight she was actually confronted with was a little more disappointing: “All the hair I’d just tried to take off not even slightly detached from its follicles. Except now, matted firmly into the hair was a thick layer of wax.

“It is so sticky it could have held together the original Sugababes line-up. My bikini line was like the dancefloor of a really questionable club at 3am.” 

Not to be beaten at the first hurdle, Scorer remembered that there were some wax-residue removing moisturising wipes included in the box and deployed them immediately. 

Sadly, it only made things worse: “The wipe becomes trapped and bits of it tear off and firmly adhere to my waxy, furry skin, like a series of tiny surrender flags.”

And she was forced to get in the shower and try a two-pronged attack of exfoliation and a razor: “But the wax had to continue its campaign to ruin my life, and it immediately blunted the razor.”

To make matters worse, the whole reason Scorer had been waxing in the first place was because she was going on a date: “I’ve been out of the dating game for a while and I appreciate things change, but this wasn’t learning Tinder, this was my fanny looking like something from the Blair Witch. The Blair Witch, Boots.”

The things that she thinks would more successfully be able to wax with candle wax, beeswax, wax crayons or the 2005 film ‘House of Wax’ starring Paris Hilton.  

She then requested that they be removed from sale immediately and had some suggestions about what to do with them instead, including supplying them to the construction industry as an alternative to cement or giving them to local councils looking for anti-climb paint.

Talk about making the best of a bad situation. 😂