COMEDY

Tesco Wrote A 'Wonderwall' Inspired Poem For A Dead Worm Found In One Of Their Cucumbers

This is one of the weirder things you'll read today.

09/08/2016 11:37

This supermarket chain may have just won a prize for most committed customer service team after writing poems in honour of a dead worm found on one of their cucumbers.

We’ve all seen stories about odd pieces of detritus being found in packaged food - from live spiders to frogs, human body parts to pieces of machinery - but Tesco customer Wes Metcalfe went above and beyond when he noticed an unlucky critter squashed under the packaging of his salad item.

Rather than complain in a normal way, Wes decided to have some fun. 

”I excitedly shouted the kids downstairs to come and meet our new pet. We decided to name him William,” Wes wrote in a Facebook post on Tesco’s page.

“Our new pet appeared to be very unresponsive, we just put it down to him being sleepy and decided to give him some time to come round.

“24 hours later and William still hasn’t moved, on closer inspection he seems quite flat (again see picture) and I think he may be dead. Well...I’m no vet but I think the tight shrink wrap on the cucumber may have squashed and killed William.

“I now have three very upset children, a worm funeral to plan and to top it all off I’ve totally lost my taste for cucumber sandwiches which as everyone knows are a favourite at any wake.”

It must’ve been a quiet day in the Tesco social media office, because one of the supermarket’s representatives decided to pen a poem in memoriam of William the worm.

Facebook

But the tomfoolery didn’t stop there.

Wes wasn’t joking about planning the worm’s funeral. Using two ice lolly sticks as a cross, a small photo and a mocked up Tesco Value bereavement card, he held a tiny memorial for the vanquished creepy-crawly.

Wes Metcalfe/Facebook

Inspired by the truly beautiful burial, Tesco’s customer care representative popped up once again to deliver a belated eulogy - and even wrote a tribute to the worm based on Oasis’ “Wonderwall”. Seriously.

Facebook

Rest in peace, dear William. You were taken from us too young.

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