PARENTS

Adults Reveal The Funniest Child Logic They Have Ever Heard

'The kid I babysit thinks I pay his mum to let me hang out with him.'

05/09/2016 10:53

As parents, we are responsible for teaching children how to navigate the world and helping them understand how things work. 

But sometimes our mini-Einsteins don’t need our help, as they come up with their own logic to explain what is going on around them.

Sometimes surprisingly insightful, but more often just totally baffling, people on Reddit have been sharing the most hilarious instances of ‘child logic’:  

1. Babysitting 

“The kid I babysit thinks I pay his mum to let me hang out with him. He is five.” - Samiru27

2. Hand-me-downs 

“I was donating some of my niece’s clothes that she had outgrown and she told me not to. I asked her why not, and she said because when the clothes got small enough she would put them on her dolls. No concept of her growing, she thought the clothes were shrinking.” - peaches9057

Patrick Lane Photography/Fuse via Getty Images

 

3. Fish 

“When we were kids my little sister and I were watching my dad clean out the fish tank. As he refilled it with water she suddenly panicked and shouted, ‘WHOA DAD, NOT TOO MUCH, THEY’LL DROWN!’” - down_vote_magnet

4. Getting Pregnant

“I’m a girl, and my best friend when I was little was a boy. We were on the bus on a school trip and both fell asleep. When we got to wherever the school trip was, he freaked out, thinking that LITERALLY sleeping together would make me pregnant.” - PixelizedPaperPlane

JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images

5. Names

“My dad’s name is Jim. My mum’s name is Carol. Our friend’s kid forgot my dad’s name and called him Uncle Carol.” - oggleboggle

6. Apples

“My three-year-old daughter says she can’t eat apples unless there is peanut butter on the plate. Not peanut butter on the apples, not peanut butter to dip the apples in, just a small dollop of peanut butter on the plate to be eaten after the apple is all gone. I asked her why when she never eats the two together, and her answer was: ‘My apples don’t want to be eaten alone, so the peanut butter keeps them company. The peanut butter is super brave though, so it doesn’t mind that the apples are all gone when I eat it’.” - armytrixter

7. Geography

“Just today I asked my six-year-old son if he knew what the capital of France was. He said, ‘That’s easy. F’.” - fortuitousbuttdial

8. Careers

“Asked my friends five-year-old nephew what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said: ‘I wanna be a hot dog that way when I’m big enough I can eat myself’.” - majordiddles

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