LIFESTYLE

Revealed: How Long People Will Wait To Have Sex In A New Relationship

'Longest I ever waited was six years.'

11/05/2017 10:40 | Updated 11 May 2017

When you’re dating someone new, it can be difficult to fathom when’s best to invite them home for bedroom activities.

After all, you don’t want to reveal your best hand straight away, but equally you don’t want them to get tired of waiting. 

While there’s not really any right or wrong time, Redditors have discussed how long they will typically wait before having sex with a new partner, as well as at what stage they’d lose interest.

Here’s what they had to say...

domoyega via Getty Images

1. “31, male. Depends on the relationship. If I’m investing into something that is more intimate than ‘just’ sex, I can’t really put a time on it. Maybe 3 months, 6 months, who knows. If it’s just a casual relationship and we’re not both having orgasms within a week... Mucho problems.”

2. “Middle age male, one to three dates. I’m very comfortable with sex and want the same in my partners. If we’re not on the same page, I have a busy life and don’t have time to spend with someone that’s not compatible.”

3. “18, female. I’ll have sex with someone before getting in a relationship with them. Sex is a really important part of a relationship to me, so why waste my time on someone I am not sexually compatible with? I’d rather find out sooner than later.”

4. “25, male. Depends how often we’re seeing each other. My most recent ex and I had sex after 2-3 weeks of seeing each other every couple days. The anticipation was enormous on both sides and we had fooled around a lot. It almost felt too long to be honest. Longer might be fine if we don’t see each other as often.”

5. “26, male. Probably a month at most, but I’d have to REALLY like her.”

6. “25, female. I love sex. It means so much to a relationship (with me at least). I would want to have a few dates to see if we’re compatible personality-wise. And if so, sex would be the next step. So after getting to know and like the person. No specific time.”

7. “29, male. It depends completely on how I feel with the woman. If it’s going well, we’re connecting, having a good time, never bored together, enjoying each other’s company and I can see a decent relationship in the future then I’m willing to wait a while (weeks to months). Sex is great, it’s needed, it’s important but it’s still not everything.

“Although if there is some sexual tension or intense feelings when you make out/fool around, then god damn I’ll go for it. In the end, you’ll both know when it’s right.”

8. “43, bisexual male. If we’re not naked in each other’s arms at the end of the third date, don’t expect a fourth. Sexual compatibility is paramount, and a prerequisite for an emotional relationship... I will not make that mistake again!”

9. “23, female. If we’re FWB (friends with benefits), one week. If it’s a relationship, I’m willing to follow the natural course and feel things out.”

10. “24, male. I’d be cool with waiting a month max. I would like to have a sex talk before that though, just to make sure we both know what we like, or what to expect leading up to sex.”

11. “22, female. Probably about a year, then we’d have to talk about it so I could figure out why. Depending on the answer, I might wait longer. I’m not up for sex for at least the first three months anyway. I waited four with my BF and would’ve been perfectly happy waiting longer.”

12. “41, male here. I’m married now but my wife and I had sex the first time after only a few dates. We were in our late 30s and both felt that sex wasn’t as big a deal as it was when you’re younger. As almost 40-year-old adults we just had a very open and direct conversation about our relationship and sexual expectations right away.”

13. “20, straight female. Sleep with him right away.”

14. “Woman in mid-20s. Six months tops.”

15. “52, male. Longest I ever waited was six years. Totally worth it, except in the morning, she started talking about how we should get married.”

16. “34, female. I’d be okay waiting a month or two, depending on how much time we got to spend together. (I’m not a casual sex person, but connections can take different lengths of time with different people, so I’m also fine jumping to it more quickly if it feels right). After a month, I might start to wonder what was up and broach the topic.”

17. “29, male. I’ve been waiting over a year and a half in my current relationship. My GF is a virgin and made the decision to wait until marriage. So I’m in this for the long haul.” 

18. “Gay man here... Like -15 minutes.” 

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