PARENTS

New Mum Asks Partner For Updates On Six-Month-Old Son After Returning To Work, Soon Regrets It

'We've just nipped to Wetherspoons for a couple.'

10/05/2016 10:59

A new mum who had returned to work from maternity leave was not impressed with her partner's messages about how their six-month-old son was getting on.

Matt Coyne, 41, who blogs at Man vs. Baby, decided to reply to his wife, Lyndsay Coyne, with baby updates that were a little embellished. 

The new dad photoshopped the couple's son Charlie into pictures of him in pubs, strip clubs and even skydiving.

"Charlie's mum's maternity leave ended," Coyne wrote on Facebook when sharing the exchange. "It's true to say that as Lyns walked out the door that first morning there was quite a few tears, sobbing, and protest-soiling.

"Anyway, to alleviate Lyns' concerns about leaving Charlie in the care of a f*ckwit, I promised to keep in touch..."

"We've just nipped to Wetherspoons for a couple before lunch," Coyne replied to his wife's initial question about how the pair were getting on. 

"Wetherspoons was a bit dead so we moved on to 'WildKatz'," he added. 

The new mother initially saw the funny side of Coyne's jokes, but kept asking what they were really doing.

"Send me a proper picture!" she wrote.

"I will do, but Charlie's a bit busy at the moment," the dad replied with a photo of their son's face on a skydiver.

After the final straw (Charlie being 'catapulted' into the sky), Lyndsay took a stand.

"I swear just one more and I am coming home to punch you in the testicles," she wrote.

"What are you doing - really! Has be been ok?"

The photo of the exchange shared by the new dad cuts off the rest of the conversation, but we're guessing the photoshopping ended there.

The couple's exchange, posted on Coyne's Facebook page on Friday 6 May 2016, was shared nearly 6,000 times and gained more than 26,000 likes in four days.

Parents have congratulated the dad for his "hilarious" messages.

"Your posts really are hilarious," one person wrote. "Well done for lightening the load of what can be a stressful time."

Another wrote: "You really have to laugh at this, I mean I nearly cried looking at those pictures."

Since the birth of his son Charlie, Coyne has frequently posted updates about life as a new dad.

Another recent post was an account of going on holiday with a six-month-old baby.

“The amount of stuff you need to take for a weekend is comical,” he wrote.

“To go away for a whole week, it’s roughly the same amount of stuff that the Nazis took to invade Poland.

“Also, don’t take an expensive pram on a flight - the moment you check in and that pushchair disappears behind that rubber curtain, it is collected by two wrestlers who smash it against a wall for half an hour before it is transferred to the runway, where they reverse the plane over it a couple of times before placing it in the hold."

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