LIFESTYLE

Revealed: The Most Cringeworthy Lines People Used On Their Crushes

'I told him I liked his nipple.'

28/06/2017 11:00

When you fancy someone, your brain turns to mush and whatever comes out of your mouth is often uncensored codswallop. 

Likewise, you might end up writing some nauseating letters or text messages. 

Oh the shame

Now, Redditors have opened up about the most cringeworthy things they’ve ever said to their crushes - and it makes for hilarious, albeit slightly mortifying, reading.

kaisersosa67 via Getty Images

“She was a classmate and worked as a ticket seller at the movie theatre. Went to see ‘Tangled’ and as she was handing me the ticket she said, ‘Enjoy the movie,’ to which I unintentionally responded, ‘I’d rather enjoy you.’”

 

“He leaned in to kiss me, I majorly panicked and deadpan said to him: ‘Who are you voting for in the general election?’ I hate me sometimes.”

GVHS

 

“He was shirtless and gave me a hug and I didn’t know what to look at and got really overwhelmed so I told him I liked his nipple.”

 

“A long, long time ago in the west of Ireland (God I’m cringing typing this). [I] had a lovely few days with a lovely, very catholic girl... But let’s not beat about the bush, I had balls like a space hopper.

“It was near the end of my holiday and we’d gone down to the river to sit on a bench. It was dark, crisp and slightly chilly. She looked up into the sky...

″‘Ooooo aren’t the stars all sparkly,’ [she said].

“I thought about it for three seconds [and then said]: ‘They’re sparkling for you.’

“SHUDDER.”

 

“During my first year of high school the kid I had a crush on had the same class as I did. I noticed that he got his braces off and not the retainer. I said: ‘Oh you got vagisil now, I mean invisalign.’

“How stupid of me. Vagisil!!”

 

“Homecoming was coming up and there was one girl in my friend group that I had a huge crush on. After weeks of not being able to work out the courage to ask her to homecoming, I finally said ‘fuck it’.

“I was at a football game and I had poor cell service. I wrote a loooong message about my affection towards her - practically spilling my love for this girl.

“The first time I sent the message, it didn’t go through, then the second, the third, fourth, fifth, I probably sent this message 10 times before one went through. Then they all went through... I flooded this girl with my love confession 10x times, and I was mortified.

“I thought for sure that I had scared her off at this point and looked like some crazy stalker. ‘What?’ was the reply I got back and I had to explain the situation. Luckily after some defusing she said ‘yes’ to me! But I never forget that embarrassment I felt after all those messages went.”

 

“Worst thing I ever said to a crush was when I was drunk and she had offered to drive me home from the bar so I didn’t have to walk (she hadn’t been drinking).

“I said ‘take a left here to take me home or take a right to go somewhere and make out’ and was immediately mortified with my drunk self.”

 

“I said to her in front of her roommate: ‘I’m still a virgin. Can you teach me how to have intercourse?’”

 

“I said: ‘I want to build a cabin with you in the wilderness of the Adirondacks.’

“Luckily she knew I was just really awkward and not a serial killer.”

 

“Took her to the park at the last day of school, confessed my love, she said ‘no’. I went to my car and brought her her birthday present because it was her birthday (I wanted to confess first before giving her present because I didn’t want to sound desperate by having her gift weigh her down on the decision of going out with me. I just wanted to genuinely tell her I liked her with no strings attached).

“Brought it to her, said ‘happy birthday’, kissed her on the forehead and dropped her at her house.”

 

“I told him the entire list of every single roadkill I’ve caused.”

 

“I said: ‘Hey I looked up your zodiac sign, and turns out today’s your lucky day!!!’

“I then proceeded to describe myself in second person and admitted that I liked him. He went off to college and we haven’t talked since.”

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