PARENTS

Mum Shares Anger At What Her Mother-In-Law Did Immediately After She Had A 'Traumatic' Birth

'That sounds awful, and not one thing you have mentioned is right.'

12/10/2017 10:47 | Updated 13 October 2017

A mum has shared her frustration online after her mother-in-law “stole” the first cuddle of her newborn daughter after her “traumatic” birth.

The Mumsnet user asked other parents online whether they thought she was being unreasonable for still being angry about it, six weeks later.

Her birth ended in emergency caesarean section and when she went into theatre, her husband was frightened and called his mother for support.

“She is a doctor and works in the same trust as I was delivering in... she was able to obtain access to the recovery area with her works access card, and just let herself in without permission,” the mum explained

Enzo Nguyen@Tercer Ojo Photography via Getty Images
Mumsnet

The Mumsnet user said she wasn’t asked whether it was okay for her mother-in-law to be there.

“Because I was being stitched up on theatre still, she held my daughter before I even got to,” she continued. “I’m so angry and upset about this.

“Prior to going into labour, I’d discussed with my husband that I didn’t want anyone visiting for at least a day or so, let alone having my mother-in-law there before I’ve even held my own child.”

She explained she had a long recovery due to complications during the birth so only now, six weeks on, has she really had a chance to process what happened that day.

“I haven’t spoken to my husband about it and wouldn’t want to make him feel bad by bringing it up now but I’m really upset by it,” she added. “I’m livid that the midwives allowed her to be there without asking me.

“A doctor came and spoke to me whilst I was in recovery and mentioned some very personal information about me, medically, which she then overheard too.

“I just wanted to get it off my chest to someone.” 

I’m livid that the midwives allowed her to be there without asking me." Mumsnet user

Many replied on the Mumsnet thread agreeing that it was out of order and offering their support.

“That sounds awful, and not one thing you have mentioned is right,” one wrote.

“She should never have been allowed to do all this, and know stuff about you. Have you spoken to your husband about this? Don’t blame him (if you can help it) his head was probably all over the place.

“Your mother-in-law used her privilege to get her own way by the sound of it, and it was unacceptable.”

Another wrote: “You are completely justified in feeling violated and angry. You’re also justified in feeling unsupported and let down by your husband. You have ground to make a formal complaint.”

One woman added: “That’s wrong. She stole the first cuddle!”

Others urged the mum to speak to her husband about how she was feeling, with one writing: “Yes this is wrong, but whatever happens please open up to your partner so he knows how you are feeling and can give you the support you need.”

What would you advise the mum to do in her situation? Let us know in the comments below.

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