The Nobel Peace Prize: 7 People Who Definitely Won't Win

Although Hitler was nominated in 1939 so anything goes...

06/10/2016 19:48 | Updated 07 October 2016

Malala YousafzaiBarack ObamaMédecins Sans Frontières  - the list of the 129 winners of the Nobel Peace Prize dating back to 1901 contains some pretty heavyweight names.

This year names rumoured to be in the running (nominees are officially kept secret for 50 years) include The White Helmets, Edward Snowden, the Iranian nuclear deal negotiators and - unbelievably - Donald Trump.

While the committee of Norwegian and international advisers ponder their decision, HuffPost UK has decided to compile our own Nobel Peace Prize list.

Here are seven people who definitely WON’T win...

1) Donald Trump

Evan Vucci/AP

Nope. We’re not having it.

Even if he is nominated for his “vigorous peace through strength ideology”, Trump winning any peace prize would be like Jeremy Hunt being awarded “Boss of the year” from a panel made up entirely of junior doctors hallucinating after a 48-hour weekend shift.

2) Paul Hollywood 

Dominic Lipinski/PA Archive

Every Brit knows - never go against Mary Berry.

It’s the equivalent - if not worse than - desecrating the Queen by burning a fiver or wiping your arse on a corgi.

So Hollywood’s decision to move to Channel 4 without Berry means he is now subjected to far from peaceful sentiments such as this...

Brutal, but you have to pay the price.

3) The Tories

Joe Giddens/PA Wire

While attempting to create a homogenous society of outsider-distrusting “true” Brits and starving the rebellious poor so they don’t have the energy to rise up may inadvertantly create peace, we’re afraid such methods are not really in the spirit of Mr Nobel.


4) Jeremy Corbyn

Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire

 *This post was sponsored by a conspiratorial consortium of every UK news outlet except The Canary

Actually, now that we’ve mentioned Jeremy Hunt...

5) Jeremy Hunt

Andrew Matthews/PA Wire

You know why...

6) Prince George


Chris Jackson/PA Wire

Seriously, Prince George has been on the job for over three years now and what has he done?

Nothing, that’s what.

He was invisible during Brexit, hasn’t done a single interview and can’t even fly an air ambulance yet.

Absolutely useless.

7) Ken Livingstone 

Anthony Devlin/PA Wire

Despite being nominated on 1939, Hitler has never been mentioned in a Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, as far as we’re aware.

And we’re not going to start now. 

(Joking aside, the White Helmets deserve it).

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