LIFESTYLE

People Share Hilariously Woeful Stories About The Times They Had To Stop Halfway Through Sex

Can you relate?

16/03/2017 10:38

Bedroom interruptions are the worst - especially when it results in total embarrassment on your part. 

For your complete and utter amusement, Redditors have shared stories of the unfortunate times they had to cut their sexual encounters short.

From the couple whose five-year-old walked in on them to leg cramp, here’s what they had to say... 

1. Unpreventable Body Woes

“Leg cramps.”

 

2. Immature Flatmates

”My roommate screamed ‘EHHH HARREHHH DONT STOHP. ACCIO BUM’ through the door. Hard to keep going after that.”

 

3. Family Interruptions

“I was giving it to my wife doggy style. She was on the edge of the bed and our backs were to the door. Anyway the dog was freaking out for a little while and eventually I said, ‘why is the dog freaking out?’ only to have my five-year-old respond, ‘maybe it’s because I’m standing here’.

“Needless to say that scared the shit out of me and our bedroom now has a lock.”

 

4. Strange Noises 

“She was in the cowgirl position and our thighs started making farting sounds. She couldn’t stop laughing.”

Phonyme 

 

5. A Furry Audience

”I couldn’t focus. We were in like spooning position, with her in front of me. Her cat climbed on the bed and sat in front of her and faced me. He maintained eye contact with me the whole time. It was so awkward.” 

 

6. Forgotten Pizza

”The pizza delivery guy was knocking on the door. We forgot we’d ordered it about 30 minutes prior.”

 

7. Burglars

”She thought she heard someone break into my house. And she was correct.”

 

8. A Series Of Unfortunate Events

”First her four-year-old son walked in and let the dog in, then the dog got on the bed, then my lady friend turned the light on and we discovered her period had started, then the dog threw up all over the bed.”

 

9. Playlist Got Weird

“My iPod was on shuffle and Weird Al’s ‘Dare to be Stupid’ came on.”

 

10. Unwanted Contact

“A cold, wet dog nose touching my butt shut down the sexy time pretty quickly.”

 

11. Sudden Illness

”I fainted. We were going at it and it felt amazing. Suddenly I tunnel visioned, yelled something incomprehensible, and passed out.”

 

12. Falling Hard

”We were both really drunk. She went to switch positions and fell off the bed. Right onto a rather expensive RC plane I had built about a week prior. Absolutely destroyed it.”

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