When you’re working through relationship struggles, sometimes some wise words from a third party are just what you need to see a different perspective.
On Reddit, people have been sharing the best relationship advice they’ve ever been given.
So if you feel like your love life could do with a reboot, take some of this wisdom on board.
Do the small things.
“’Can I show you this thing I made? Want to walk the dog with me quickly?’ just small stuff like that.
“I read somewhere that your willingness to do those things can determine a lot of your marriage. Sometimes I definitely don’t want to get off the couch and help my wife with something, but I know she really appreciates it when I do.
“It helps her feel loved and appreciated in ways that you just can’t when it’s only the big things. Big things build the structure, little things fill in the gaps.”
Make life easy.
“’Don’t do anything that will make the other person’s day more difficult’. Simple, but still the best advice I’ve ever received.”
Just be there.
“I’m one of those people that absolutely sucks at knowing what to say when trying to comfort someone and I’ll always wind up saying something that just makes it worse.
“I think the best relationship advice I have ever received is that you don’t have to always verbally comfort them and you can still let them know you care by just being there - holding their hand or just sitting with them while they’re sad. This has saved me from saying the wrong thing so many times.”
Understand that people express love differently.
“I am very vocal and physically affectionate whereas my husband shows he loves me by doing things for me, like the dishes and grocery shopping. Things that need to get done and I don’t really enjoy doing.
“It is sometimes very difficult for me to remember that he is doing those things because he loves me and not because it’s ‘his job’ and also to remember to make sure to do those things for him so he really feels like I love him too.
“He has also had to learn to be more vocally and physically affectionate which is a huge change for him because his family hardly hugged or said ‘I love you’ and almost never kissed.
“We both love each other more than anything but sometimes it can get lost in translation.”
Resolve confrontation in the open.
“When you argue in front of someone, make sure that you apologise in front of them too. It helps people see that your relationship is not only arguments.
“This is especially true if you have children, as they need to see peaceful conflict resolution and not just the conflict.”
Maintain the spark.
“Even if you’re married, never stop dating your spouse. Love is active.”
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
“Any issue that crops up, we will tell each other - even if it’s small or silly - that way, nothing builds up over time.
“From the very first time we met online we decided to be ‘bluntly honest’ with each other and it’s been absolutely awesome.”
Prioritise each other.
“Don’t make it all about the children. They won’t be around forever, but the two of you will.”
Keep arguments in perspective.
“When arguing, it’s ‘us vs. the problem’ instead of ‘me vs. you.’”
- Favre99
Accept your partner as they are.
“You have to love someone for who they actually are (faults and all), not who you want them to be or even who you think they can become.
“Don’t get into a relationship with someone you want to ‘fix’, because there is a good chance you can’t fix them. There is a good chance they will never be the best person they are capable of being.”
Value yourself.
“Never make a priority out of someone who makes you an option.”
