If you’ve recently found yourself back in the lonely heart’s club, eating microwave meals for one and crying a disproportionate amount of the time, you can be forgiven for not being too excited about Valentine’s Day.
But it is going to happen, whether we like it or not, and we all need to brace ourselves in preparation for the onslaught of boringly-lame Facebook statuses.
So here are nine ways to get yourself through the 14 February if you have just been dumped.
1. Send yourself a bouquet of roses your office.
No way. What a complete surprise this delivery is.
2. Eat all the pizza and not worry about how you’ll look in underwear.
Come at us bloat.
3. Use the money you would have spent on their present to buy yourself something fabulous.
Oh you really shouldn’t have.
4. Watch a Hugh Grant marathon.
Bridget Jones is your friend in these dark times.
5. Practise some opening lines on Tinder.
These suckers are ripe for the picking.
6. Know that St Valentine was arrested and beheaded.
His day is totally worse than yours.
7. Realise it is only two months till a Bank Holiday.
8. Remember 42% of UK marriages end in divorce.
Who knew the Office of National Statistics had our back?
9. Just suck it up.
We believe in you.