After years of assuring us that a full, proper Spice Girls reunion was about as likely as Victoria Beckham becoming the face of Poundland, it looks like the pop gods (and goddesses) have finally (possibly) made our childhood (and adulthood) dreams come true.
Whilst still not 100% confirmed, the rumours are that all five girls - Mel B, Emma Bunton, Geri Horner, Mel B and Victoria Beckham (yes, even VB) will be reuniting for a world tour, which, let’s face it, is a pretty exciting prospect.
However, we don’t want the Spice legacy to be tarnished by some dodgy decisions when it comes to an all-new live show, so, if you’re listening ladies, this is what we want (what we really, really want) from the tour (and a few things we definitely do not).
IN: Girl Power
We’re not expecting - nor want - the fab five to get too political (it’s a pop show, after all) but with the current political climate and women’s issues - from sexual harassment to equality - taking centre stage, Girl Power has never been more relevant, so acknowledging the current state of things is a must.
OUT: ‘Headlines’
AKA The worst Spice Girls single. Let’s just forget this travesty ever happened, OK?
IN: An homage to their legendary Brit Awards performance
Has there been a more iconic Brits performance? No, there hasn’t.
OUT: Bonding
Friendships never end, they said, lying to us. Things haven’t always been rosy in Spice world, but it’s amazing how a highly lucrative tour can cement those cracks. That said, any OTT onstage PDAs will be met with the cynicism they deserve. We see you.
IN: Pretty much all of Geri’s solo offerings
It’s a tall order, but a mash-up of ‘Look At Me’, ‘Bag it Up’, ‘Mi Chico Latino’, ‘It’s Raining Men’ and‘Lift Me Up’ will do nicely, thanks. Just leave ‘Half Of Me’ out of it Geri, ok? *shudders*
OUT: Any of Mel B’s solo offerings
Strictly speaking, she was actually Mel G when she released ‘Word Up’ and apart from that dodgy cover of the Cameo classic, we can’t actually recall any of her other singles. Not a good sign.
IN: All the iconic dance routines
‘Who Do You Think You Are’ might be the most memorable, but we want to be slamming it to the left and shaking it to the right too OBVIOUSLY.
OUT: Victoria smiling
Just pout and point Posh, pout and point. Let’s face it, it’s what she does best.
IN: Totally unnecessary tour merchandise
In their heyday, the Spice Girls were the queens of merchandise and branding. Parents had to remortgage their homes (probably) to quench the insatiable appetites of their offspring to own anything with their name or faces on. We’ve already extended our overdrafts.
OUT: The unnecessary capital ‘T’
It’s Spice Girls or the Spice Girls, but NEVER The Spice Girls. Even though the girls themselves have used it recently. And if it appears on any of the merch, we’ll be withholding our hard-earned cash.
IN: All of their mums on stage for ‘Mama’
They did it for the video and with Mel B recently reconciling with her mama after being estranged for years, we reckon this could be the nah-it’s-just-a-bit-of-glitter-in-my-eye moment of the night.
OUT: Trying to be ‘cool’
The coolest thing about the Spice Girls is the fact that they never chased ‘cool’. OK, maybe a little bit on that R&B influenced third album, but that ’s because Geri had buggered off and she would never have stood for it, quite frankly.
IN: All five performing Emma Bunton’s should’ve-been-bigger single ‘Maybe’
Baby, Posh, Ginger Scary and Sporty recreating *that* choreography from the video? Hell yes.
IN: David Beckham in the audience
We still haven’t quite got over the sight of David (OK, it was the back of his perfectly formed head) sitting a few rows in front of us at the 2007 Spice Girls reunion show at London’s O2 arena. Yeah, we know.
