COMEDY

Man Gives Hilarious Running Commentary On Wife's Four-Hour Call Trying To Cancel Virgin Media Contract

'Ironically, this phone call is the longest we've been stably connected.'

21/08/2016 01:12 | Updated 22 August 2016

We’ve all had problems with our Internet connection. And some of us have been driven to despair cancelling our contracts because of said problems. 

But one man’s account of a four-hour feud with a Virgin Media call-centre must be the most persistent and impressive efforts to date to get justice for a poor connection. 

John Bull, who describes himself as a history and transport writer, gave a hilarious running commentary on his wife’s struggle to cancel an “imaginary” Internet contract.

Shaming Virgin publicly on Twitter, Bull detailed the highs and lows of Mrs Bull’s Herculean phone-calls, complete with a conspiracy theory concerning the hold music. 

So where did it all begin? 

Well, John’s wife was trying to cancel the pair’s Internet contract with Virgin media at 10:37 this morning. It was all going so well... 

But things turned pear-shaped when Virgin claimed John and his wife had signed up to a new contract in February. 

Their evidence? John accepted the company’s suggestion it up his line speed to fix slow connection problems he’d reported before. 

John’s wife asked to speak to the manager, but... 

After being told by the Virgin call-centre staff member that they would have been “insane” to sign a new contract, further attempts to refer the issue up proved futile. 

Oh - but the whole issue would just be resolved if John and his wife paid £160, they were told. No biggie.

So, how’s that speaking to the manager thing going? Oh.

Until...

Wait. Could this be a breakthrough?

Then came the allegations about hold music. John said he suspected Justin Bieber was played down the line to weaken his resolve.

*MANAGER KLAXON*

One user following the commentary on Twitter suggested asking the call-centre worker: “If the colleague next to you died right now, who would you call? Put them on.”

*MANAGER CLAXON 2*

At this point, after almost 90 minutes on the phone, John alleges his wife was hung up on.

But, undeterred, she prepared for call number two by grabbing a drink.

The call started promisingly.

Then ‘Ally’ eventually answered the call.

Ally claimed her boss wasn’t in or available to speak to on Saturday.

And there was a bit of confusion when this happened.

After two hours trying to cancel, John’s wife seemed to be getting a bit bored.

But after playing “NO HOLD MUSIC” - as John put it - Ally came back on the line offering to raise a complaints case and asking the couple to put the phone down.

At this point, it’s worth a reminder of what John and Mrs Bull are actually fighting for.

But after hours, it felt like the situation might never be resolved.

And the dreaded hold music came back.

Until Mrs Bull had to say that if the call was terminated again, he’d just ring straight back. 

Which eventually happened, so they got a cup of tea.

Mr’s Bull’s a pro-apparently. 

Then Virgin Media’s Twitter customer service team waded in with a sympathetic ear.

Next, Mrs Bull finally got through to Clare, whose manager was seemingly NOT imaginary.

And, after being put on hold again, got a glimmer of hope.

Then, FINALLY:

Meaning it was time to ditch the orange juice and tea and instead... 

Three cheers for Clare!

And a final word from the very happy couple.

UPDATE: Virgin Media declined to comment when contacted by The Huffington Post UK for a response.

Suggest a correction
Comments

CONVERSATIONS