Billed as the “iTunes of oral sex for women”, you can now download an app (on both iOS and Android, because we don’t want anyone feeling left out here) that lets you send oral sex to someone via your phone.
Oh yes, you read that correctly.
The ‘O-Cast’ app requires you to lick your phone (please, wipe that thing down first) while it records your tongue pattern and saves it to its store. You then send this to your partner, who receives it on a sex toy via Bluetooth.
You do have to marvel at the level of innovation at play here.
If you’re not feeling too confident in your own technique, your efforts will be catalogued alongside porn stars and web cam experts, so you can even submit their work as your own (it’s just like being back at school).
Admittedly we can see how this could be beneficial for couples in long-distance relationships, afforded a luxury that Skype just can’t quite compete with.
But for the rest of you, there really is no excuse (unless you weren’t actually that keen on the human contact part of sex).
Adult entertainer Charley Hart tested out the product for The Huffington Post, and was impressed by the results, saying: “I loved it. Nothing is like the real thing, but it’s great when the other person is far away.”
And until the end of March, all downloads are completely free in ‘celebration’ of Women’s History month.
We can’t even begin to imagine what Emmeline Pankhurst would make of that.