A Reddit thread asking about the worst attempts men have made to woo women has been inundated with responses.
The thread just goes to show that some people really haven’t learned the art of speaking to members of the opposite sex and others are just, well, creepy.
Here are several examples on how NOT to speak to women (or anyone, for that matter):
1. “A guy told me he was done going out with attractive women and now just wanted to date someone nice instead. Thanks buddy.”
2. “He said he doesn’t mind providing for me in exchange for companionship. I told him I was dating someone and [he] still tried to convince me that he’d be a better option. Dude, I’m just waiting for my bus I don’t need your money.”
3. “He stole the crutches I needed due to a dislocated kneecap and told me, ‘well you can’t run away from me now’.”
4. “I had a guy at a bar notice I was Italian and then proceed to tell me how great Mussolini was before asking me how I would feel about a ‘naked 30-year-old man lying on top of me for 30 seconds’. I think it was supposed to be a pick up line.”
5. “I had a guy tell me ‘you were a lot more interesting before you started talking’ and then continue to flirt with me.”
6. “Asked a bartender I work with that question a few years back. She had a kid and was single and a guy asked her if he could ‘eat her out while rubbing Shea butter over her stretch marks’. So probably that.”
7. [He said] ‘If it weren’t for your belly you’d be smokin’ hot!’”
8. “When I was 14 a boy my age had his ‘evil alternate personality’ confess to me on his behalf. Specifically ‘it’ told me I was lucky that he (the boy) liked me enough to stop it (the evil personality) from murdering me. Then he was like, ‘Oh no, I can’t believe it told you! I didn’t want you to find out this way!’
“Yeah, me neither.”
9. “Upon finding out that I can’t drink because of a medical issue, a guy told me: ‘It must be hard for a guy to flirt with you considering he can’t get you drunk and stupid.’ Thanks?”
10. “He wrote a love letter/poem to me that included the phrase, ‘Let thy juices secrete’.”
11. “I was at a bar with one of my friends and the guy sitting next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said the bartender accidentally gave him an extra drink and he wanted to know if I wanted it. I told him ‘no thanks, I have a drink’.
“He told me he didn’t want to waste his money since he was charged for it so I told him to give it to one of his friends next to him. He then laughed and said ‘Why won’t you take it? It’s not like I’m gonna rape you or anything, I promise it’s not roofied.’ We left quickly.”
12. “When I was on holiday a man was hitting on me and told me he could sense that my plane I was getting home the next day would crash, and I should stay there with him. I was 14 and he was in his 30/40s.”
- Elcyis
13. “A guy I had just met 10 minutes earlier told me, ‘you have a great face, I’d really love to cum all over it’. No thanks, bye!”
14. ”[He said] ‘You know, I can’t decide who you look more like: a blow up Japanese sex doll or a sexy version of Sid from Ice Age.’”
15. ”[He said] ‘You know, I’m going to another bar later. You are not my only option’. I was never an option.”
- Anokest
16. “Some guy came up to me at work and started quizzing me. ‘What’s your name?’ ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ ‘Do you think I’m cute?’ The direct approach. I assume it has worked for him in the past.
“But then he asked if I had any kids. I said no. This seemed to derail his train of thought completely. He said he couldn’t believe it, he’d never met ‘a girl [my] age’ who didn’t have kids, and he kept following me around and repeating it. ‘Seriously? You don’t have any kids? You’re not messing with me?’
“I escaped into the warehouse and didn’t come out until I was sure he’d gone.”
- aciewoo
17. “Once when I was very visibly pregnant a man commented on how nice my ass looked and asked for my number. I told him I was married. He said what a lucky guy my husband was, THEN he pointed to my stomach and said that could have been mine. It was the creepiest thing. Not to mention I was walking with my four and six-year-old daughters at the time.”