Since the election in the US there has been much hand wringing in the Republican establishment about what to do after their losses on November 6th. We have discovered a private memo from Karl Rove about their future plans. Rove was the 'brain trust' to George W Bush and is a Fox New presenter. He is also the man behind American Crossroads a group that spent $300 million dollars towards losing the presidency and losing seats in the US Senate. So when it comes to how to lose an election - he knows thing or two.
Internal Memo - CONFIDENTIAL
TO: Republican Party Donors
RE: PLAN FOR THE FUTURE
FROM: Karl Rove
It goes without saying that the election results were a disappointment and a shock to us all. The voters were brainwashed by the 'lame-stream' media and bribed into re-electing President Barack Obama.
The question now is how to we rebuild the Republican Party so that we can save America from the majority of Americans.
As Mitt Romney noted during the election we knew that 47% of the country was never going to support our agenda, as they are tax loving and freedom hating.
Even with your millions of dollars there was nothing we could do to combat the 'gifts' that Obama handed out. He bought this election through some of the dirtiest tricks we've ever seen. He gave health care to young people that needed it, promised hope to Latinos that have no path to citizenship, supported gay marriage, and a woman's right to choose.
On top of that 93% of blacks voted for Obama, the other 7% were Herman Cain.
All these groups went against us in record numbers and some in the Party are now saying we should change to try and reach out and address the needs of these various groups.
Those people are wrong. There was one group that stayed was with us. They are the Republican Party's key to future success. They are - white people.
Unfortunately, white people are now a fading breed in this country.
We believe the way forward is to increase our vote by increasing our voters. Republicans need to find ways to make more white people.
Here is a list of ways to win the next election by increasing real, white Americans and decreasing others. Some suggestions are by staying strong to core principles; some are by adjusting these values strategically.
*Give people apartments. Normally, we don't like giving things away, but studies from the United Kingdom show a healthy birth rate when an apartment is on offer. However, to make sure we get the right births the recipients need to be screened. They can't have an apartment unless they can sing a country and western song.
*We must begin to aggressively tackle Global Warming. Again, this is a major policy shift, as we normally don't like things linked to 'science'. However, if the planet does get warmer more and more people will develop increased pigmentation. Temporary spray on tanning is fine, but permanent shifts in skin tone will destroy our party.
*We should expand marriage opportunities and gay marriage. This is another reversal, but if we let them marry they might vote for us in the short term. In the long term if they marry they will breed themselves out. We will then be a gay free.
Also, by expanding marriage we can embrace multi-marriage options. Did you notice how many kids and grandkids Mitt Romney had? If we let Mormons embrace their polygamous history, families like theirs will create bucket loads of white people. Those Mormons will be Republicans and even if they eventually go to hell, they will vote first.
*Death penalty must be expanded. Most death penalty cases extinguish the non-white voter and we need to expand the scope of this method of non-white voter reduction. Additional death penalty to crimes could include people refusing to speak American and liking soccer.
*We must continue to fight to end all abortions. Making abortions illegal will help reduce non-white voters as poor minority women seeking abortions will go to dangerous back-street clinics. Their deaths will reduce both the current non-white voter and future non-white voter. Removing two votes with one coat-hanger.
*Export births to China. That is not to say we want more Asian people, while their skin color is nearly white, they don't use forks. In China children can be birthed and raised more cheaply. These new Republicans can be imported to the US in time for the 2030 presidential election.
We believe these policies will allow us to shift the dial back and we will reclaim the America our white ancestors took in the first place.
If you believe in America, then I believe if you give me another $300 million dollars we can make this happen. I can't possibly be wrong again.
Yours, KarlSuggest a correction