Yes TFL I get it - the Olympic Games begin in less than two weeks time and I need to rethink my route to work. Now, please stop spamming me with tons of painfully prescriptive emails.
I was momentarily baffled as to how TFL knew my exact route to work every day. And, that because I come into London on the DLR into Bank, I am one of the ones that if I don't do as I am told, could contribute to crowd chaos during the rush hour. Well, I am afraid I have no intention of changing my plans, well not in the first week anyway; I want to witness first-hand how slick Boris's underground team are. There's no way I am going to miss a major first week cock-up and have the frustration of watching it on TV when I could've been in the thick of it myself taking pictures with my iPhone.
Ok, so perhaps I am being a little bit cynical, but that's what you get for stalking me on my Oyster Card. Plus, I'm just thinking about our transport system's track record. I remember being stuck in Poland a couple of years ago because snow on the track meant the Eurotunnel wasn't working. Snow and rain have brought our transport system to its knees on many occasions, so it remains to be seen how we will cope when the largest sporting event in world gets underway in less than two weeks time.
I am sure it will all be fine, everything will run like clockwork. After all I've noticed that the lovely staff, and they are lovely, on the central line are being incredibly enthusiastic and authoritative with their walkie-talkies and tannoys. Even I have decided to capitulate and now keep to left-hand side when I get off at Bank. And I take the stairs, well I am trying to get into the sporting spirit, may be I will lose a few extra pounds in the process. That said; I haven't got my head around walking from Bank to Holborn yet. We'll see.
It's the people on the roads that have to worry - I think I'll keep off the roads. I'm bound to get it all wrong and end up in the VIP lane and freeze with fear and anxiety as I wonder whether someone will let me back in the right lane before I get a fine.
Actually, it's the taxi drivers who have the real problems. They've said that their exclusion from the Olympic lanes will prevent them from being able to do their job. Plus, they'll have less potential customers travelling into London. Not good. Well hopefully it will not be as bad as they think, and hopefully the underground will not grind to halt; the VIPs will not get lost on route; the stadiums will not be flooded out by one of the wettest summers in years and there will be no security guards sleeping on the job. We can only hope. Let the games begin.
Follow Esther Williams on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Mew36