THE BLOG

The Muff is Back

25/06/2014 15:01 BST | Updated 25/08/2014 10:59 BST

Waxing is waning. Cancel your brazilian and spend your hard earned cash on something more meaningful than your pubic hair going in the bin. Did you know that if you have a Brazilian wax every four weeks you spend a whopping £240 - £420 a year on muff removal. So unless you live in Miami and are permanently rollerblading up and down the esplanade in a thong, what really is the point?

It's painful, expensive and it's going out of fashion. Ultimately, you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident about yourself, but wouldn't it be great if we could just be happy the way nature made us? In extreme cases I empathise, there are those who are incredibly hairy and nobody wants their lady garden putting down roots to their knees, but if there's nothing chronic to worry about then why bother with all the faff? People still had sex and fancied each other pre 1980. It seems we have rather ridiculously fallen fashion victim to pubic topiary.

The rise of the bikini wax began as the porn industry became more mainstream and the waxing business boomed. But the majority of us aren't porn stars, we don't have our bits on parade, we're too busy browsing the biscuit aisle in Tesco. Our vagina's aren't in a beauty pageant. And we don't need to achieve perfectly clean penetration shots on camera whilst repeatedly sucking in air through our teeth.

The good news is that there is some decent porn out there ( joybear.com) which is aimed at women and couples. Joybear is an exclusive subscription site that makes erotic films for women and couples and they make a point of casting female actresses with pubic hair. This will hopefully filter down to us everyday folk, enabling us to finally see the wood for the trees and realise that it's not a crime against beauty to have pubes.

I can see some sense in taking a little care of downstairs, keeping it tidy and inside your knicker line so as not to offend fellow beach goers, but we don't need to whip it all off. Absolutely not. We need to ask ourselves why do we do it and who for? My husband certainly doesn't care either way. It might make you feel more attractive for about three days until it starts to grow back. Then you endure four weeks of stubble and ingrown hairs which completely defeats the object of trying to beautify your downstairs.

Pubic hair is there for a reason and acts as protective cushion and prevents infections. You probably wouldn't have caught chlamydia on holiday in Corfu back in 2002 if you hadn't had that Brazilian before you went. So who's the mug now?

I also question what are we teaching our children? I don't want my daughter to think she's abnormal when she reaches puberty because she possesses pubic hair, or has too much of it. Likewise for my son to expect teenage girls to be hairless. It's just complete madness. Nobody knows what a full size bush looks like any more because we never see one, anywhere.

And what do the men think?The general consensus is that they're not that bothered, probably because they're too preoccupied managing their own muff. More and more men are grooming their pubes, mainly because if you trim back the bush you gain inches in length which is always a crowd pleaser.

I can sit on the fence and say each to their own. Do what makes you happy. But I want to get off the fence and shout. Harness your power and grow back your bush. Today.