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Eleven Ways to Be a Bit Less Bad at Revision

27/04/2015 10:18 BST | Updated 22/06/2015 10:59 BST

1. Planned Revision Breaks

"Bit late for revising now. Either you're gonna know it or you ain't."

It's important to take frequent breaks during your revision session. The brain is a muscle (not factually correct) that gets tired like any other muscles (do hearts get tired?). In order for a break to be effective, you must fully remove yourself from your working mindset. Dig a hole in the garden or annoy your sister a bit. Just keep the line between work and play clearly defined.

2. Maintaining Relationships

"Who's going to be your date for the leavers' ball, Bella?" "I'm actually focusing on exams right now..."

Struggling to fit flirting and stroking into your revision timetable? No problem. Contrary to the above statement, it's really great to mix work and play- get your other-half involved in your revision. Try providing your loved one with some of your study notes for them to integrate into his/her sweet nothings/pillow talk (what is pillow talk?). E.g: "I love how your curves meander like an oxbow lake, which occur frequently in the Amazon river and are heavily populated with giant river otters," etc.

3. Socialising

"Oh my god, did you hear what they did to Louis, when they had a 'revision' weekend at Aldous's place because his dad was away?"

Remember to leave the house and do normal human stuff like conversations. However, bear in mind that your friends will still be there after your exams have finished. There will be plenty of time to spend with them during the Summer holiday; drinking warm tinnies in the park and laughing at the year-belows who are still at school.

4. Hygiene

"I don't have any nails, we're doing fucking A levels! They're all gone. Chewed to pieces. Why have you still got nails?"

During the exam season, it's likely that you'll forget you have a corporeal form that requires constant maintenance. Make sure that your daily routine includes a shower. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your family or the people you live with.

5. Music

"[Hook starts playing the guitar] That's better, now I can actually revise"

Silence is golden. But my driving instructor's Honda is also golden and it doesn't make it a good car. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to revise in silence, sometimes music can help you concentrate. The music of Mozart is said to possess mystical powers that increases memory and concentration so you might as well try it. However, ensure that your revision soundtrack doesn't contain lyrics, as they are distracting.

6. Dealing with Procrastination and Distractions

"[Reacting like junkies getting a fix as they look at their phones.]"

No, there are no new notifications since you checked it 2 minutes 47 seconds ago. Regardless of what the voices in your head are telling you, this is not a really good time to practice your oboe that you haven't played in 7 years. It's not a good time to get back into playing Sims 2 again. Stop googling 'kittens playing with kale.' The summer holiday is long. Almost too long. That might be the time to follow your newfound penchant for watercolour painting.

7. Pets

"Charming. I'm not anyone's dog thank you very much."

Generally, pets remain the same throughout exam season.

8. Snacks

"Why can't people take pride in making a decent sandwich?!"

The library is spinning around you, you've paper-cut your eyeball and you can't remember which World War you're writing about: a zesty snack is the only thing to haul you back from the brink of revision insanity. It's something to look forward to. Make it good. Fruits and nuts and things to keep energy up. Eggs make you clevererer.

9. Stationary

"Oh my god Bella, what is that exactly?!"..."It's my revision deck"

Making revision notes look aesthetically pleasing doesn't count as revision. Using coloured paper, highlighters and flashcards = good. Spritzing your Pukka pad with perfume = bad, and a bit weird (see: socialising.)

10. Techniques for Success

"I'm starting to get a bit panicky [...] mindfulness, yeah?"

I wore themed outfits to my A-level examinations: dressing as Jane Eyre for my English exam, and as a cowboy for American History. This, like spritzing ones' revision notes, is weird, unproductive and not to be recommended. (Again, see: socialising.) Instead, try use mnemonics, putting quotes into a song and using mindfulness or meditation to relax if you "get a bit panicky".

11. Study Drugs

"[He goes to his rucksack and gets out some pills, opens the bottle and swallows a couple.]"

Don't: take study drugs. Or. Do: take study drugs. Not sure yet.

All quotes are taken from 'A Level Playing Field', a play that Christian and Eve are doing at Jermyn Street Theatre instead of revising (14th April- 9th May).

http://www.jermynstreettheatre.co.uk/whatson.html

https://twitter.com/banterprods #alevelplayingfield

instagram: @a_levelplayingfield