Not long ago it was my old man's birthday, and as I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the the last forty years, I thought it would be fun to get a few mates together and celebrate - aka drag our arses five minutes up the road to the local boozer.
But they do sell jäger shots there, and big bubbly bottles of Prosecco, meaning not only was I seriously hungover, but I may/may not have had a chat with Huey on the big white telephone the day after. But unlike the good old days when we could fester and barf our way back to good health, we now have two, very loud, tiny tyrants to look after who show NO MERCY.
So I thought I'd share with you a few hints on how I got through my hangover the following day...
- SCREEN TIME - obviously stick the box on, that goes without saying, but why stop there? Get Netflix on and stick Peppa on loop! Get the iPad out! That scary film you won't let them watch? Stick it on! Yes, they'll be up in night terrified, but you'll be so tired that chances are you won't hear them anyway!*
- BAKING - this sound like a terrible idea, and yes there will be flour and cake mixture everywhere, but let's face it, when you feel this bad do you really care? They're entertained for ten minutes and you get a banana cake at the end of it - result!
- BISCUITS - If baking is just too much of a stretch, keep a large stash of biscuits on or near you at all times. The kids are arguing? Dish out a biscuit. Coco wants to cook? Dish out a biscuit. The iPad has run out of battery? You get the idea...
- NUMBER 2S - Avoid wiping smelly bums at all costs. If you're on your own, this could be tricky. But if there is another responsible adult (ha!) present, I suggest paper, scissors, stone to call it. It's only fair
- GETTING DRESSED - Let them wear WHATEVER they want. If that's an Elsa dress, those stained bright pink leggings you hate and a pirates eye patch, so be it. Passers by will be judging you more for your green hue than for what they're wearing
- AVOID CROWDED SPACES - If you're brave enough to make it out of the house avoid anywhere busy (my significant other suggested we go into town - clearly was still drunk/insane.) Instead, find a wide open space and let your off spring run! You get good parent brownie points for all that fresh air and exercise, and it will hopefully result in a nice long nap for all of you - win, win!
Now all you need to do is mainline coffee and find a local breakfast delivery service, and you should hopefully make it through your hangover unscathed!
*Jokes - terrified, screaming children is no fun for anyone!