Self-Pity - The Nuclear Option

Self-Pity - The Nuclear Option
Lucas Jackson / Reuters

"We may have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea".

The Donald's 'choice' of language is revealing. Part of the #Trump schtick is to paint himself as a victim. This is also a trait I've noticed in the average #Trump supporter, when conversing with them, the average white male who feels victimised and put-upon for having to acknowledge the inequities of the past and present, and of narcissistic sociopaths of both sexes. It's the trait of the adult that doesn't want to grow up and acknowledge uncomfortable truths about themselves and the world they've created for themselves. It's the trait of inmates and children of nursery and reception-going ages, both of whom I've worked with.

This sort of trait is not confined to a type, as such: One can be supremely talented, be an intellectual high flyer, be an average Jo(e), be a rare beauty, be plain. Ironically the place where I've seen this sort of self-pitying characteristic least is in special needs children. I know about this intently, because I was prone to this trait, and really had to come to a place in myself to re-frame my thinking on it - and it is still a work in progress. It's an easy place to slip to, where everyone else and the world is at fault, without taking the time to do the adult, accountable thing and take stock of one's own perspective. What are my patterns, and how do I overcome them?

Although this is still a theory in formation, there are two reasons that I can see that Trump is prevailing: 1. He is tapping into this infantile sense of injustice without challenging the recipients of his message to challenge themselves to rise above their own inner toddler and 2. He has authenticity. Now, I know there is a lot of evidence that could be thrown against that last statement, but hear me out, because this is key: He is authentically an asshole and he is living his truth in that. There's a lack of pretence there that is clearly speaking to his supporters. And until people in opposition realise this, and start to think about how to combat it, we will always lose the argument, no matter how much evidence we have to the contrary.

Because the reality is: He is not put upon, and he has choice. He is choosing to rattle the sabre and poke the bear. There seems to be a lack of education and understanding about the effects of nuclear war, which back in the 80s was just par for the course. Every school child had seen 'The Day After', we all knew about Hiroshima, and we all understood the lyrics of Sting's 'Russians' (time for a re-release called 'Americans'). Mr. Sumner was accurate about the Russians loving their children - I'm not convinced pro-Trump Americans do, or that, due to a lack of education and understanding, they understand the Pandora's Box that Trump is promising to unleash. Judging by the plethora of bombastic tweets in support of him, they don't. Who would, having seen even the pictures of Hiroshima, would wish that for the world?

Mr. Trump has a choice; and he is choosing to take the lowest road possible. Perhaps in a bid to boost his flagging ratings and his dwindling crowds. His pronouncements are normalised and a logical outcome of the normalisation of white male privilege and a failure in our systems of teaching and enforcing personal accountability in our society. If we all survive the Trump presidency (my T-shirt is already on order), we have to focus on what is important: our interdependency, an insistence on equality and equal representation, respect for our differences and for our planet. The only point of being lead down a dark path is to embrace the light when we see it.

I'm going to leave you with a quote from Frankl, who was, the more I discover about him, an amazing character. One thing I did not know until recently was that he chose to go to Auschwitz. He had a safe passage to the US, but his parents were being deported to Auschwitz and he chose to go with them. So not only did he make a choice - he chose love. It's always there, folks. In our words. In our deeds. In our reactions. You are not helpless. You have power, if you choose to use it. If you choose to live mindfully. If you do not, no matter your circumstances, you are a hamster on a wheel, an eternal victim of your own whining 3-year old. Ask yourself - isn't it time to embrace being an adult, with all the wonderful joys and challenges that entails? There's little point in being king for a day (or in Trump's case, 7.25 more years and counting) if one's head does not have the strength to bear the crown. There's little point in being Emperor if the rest of the world can see, plain as day, that you have no clothes. That you're just a big whining man-baby in a suit who, through circumstance, has access to the biggest and most dangerous toy in the world. Even standing on the precipice of obliteration, let's see this for what it is. A choice.

"The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance."

― Viktor E. Frankl

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