THE BLOG

When Things Aren't As You Would Expect...

05/09/2016 13:22 | Updated 05 September 2016

I've not really spoken about this before on my blog or much in day to day conversation either. I'm not entirely sure why but I do think it's because we needed time to come to terms with things and get our heads around it privately. But now our daughter is here it's something my husband and I feel should be spoken about even if to help just one person in the future, make you more aware, or just to record our journey.

I found by looking around on the internet for other peoples' journeys and stories it really helped me understand how things may play out now and in the future. So hopefully this may just help someone else.

At our 16 week gender scan it was discovered there was a complication with our baby. I couldn't find the words to tell people about it and I didn't feel it necessary actually to tell anyone except those closest to us. But the truth is that the complication was that they couldn't see a right hand. As you can imagine our worlds crashed down and the next few minutes, hours and days were impossible. I just felt sick, couldn't sleep and just cried wondering why us? Thinking of all the reasons why it could happen to our baby. I had no answers though.

If I'm honest I still wonder this sometimes but I've learnt if these things are going to happen they do and that's just how life is. We just have to learn to adapt and deal with these things.

We saw the obstetrician a day or so later after the 4d scan for a detailed ultrasound investigation and consultation. He confirmed there was abnormality to the hand, she possibly had something there but to what extent was unclear. We had scans fairly often after that, more to observe the development of everything else than to review her hand, so we knew it was an isolated issue and there appeared nothing else wrong. Her growth was good and on track and her movement was what they would hope, lively!

Adjusting to the thought was difficult, especially as even though we had scans we still didn't know exactly what to expect when she arrived. If I'm honest I was terrified of meeting her, excited obviously as I knew she would be my little girl but none the less I was frightened of how I would find it when she arrived. I needn't have worried, the minute she was put on my chest it was all irrelevant. She was absolutely perfect!! And the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen!

It turns out she has a wrist which appears to have movement in and the start of what I can only describe as a tiny palm with what could be a thumb one day. We hope it's enough for her to be able to learn to grip things with but we will only see how she can use it as she develops.

We are now under the care of the team at Birmingham children's hospital. We have had various positive meetings there where we were told there won't be much if anything that daisy won't be able to do. We will have help in her development with teaching her how to use both hands and be given any adaptations we may need, for example if she was to need an adapted grip for her bike when she's at that stage. They also mentioned prosthetics and surgery but for the future and not something we would want to look at now anyway.

It's amazing when you start to look these things up such as congenital deformities or transverse arrest (which is what they have said Daisy has) how many people are so inspirational out there, athletes that spring to mind such as Sarah Storey really help you to look at these situations positively! I mean check out what Sarah has done with her supposed disability! Gold medal winner not only in swimming but also cycling! And also in able bodied championships as well as Paralympic! Incredible!

When pregnant you have the usual worries of the more common concerns such as Down's syndrome because you are tested for them and they are more publicly talked about, you never in a million years would think about something like your babies hand not developing as it normally would. And there being no explanation for why. Learning anything is not as expected with your child is heart breaking, it's only natural to want everything to be perfect! But then on the other side she has her health and is a bouncy baby girl! And nothing is more important than that and the love she will receive, which is more than a lot of babies have around the world.

Hayley xxx

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