This is an intervention.
An impending doom is descending on the nation. For many teens and twentysomethings across the country, GCSEs, A Levels and university exams are just around the corner. We should all be knuckling down, creating overly ambitious colour coordinated revision timetables and actually reading our primary texts. However, there is an app that has consumed our attention. Instead of getting our heads down, we are sending each other SnapChats of ourselves with downtrodden expressions and text books with the accompanying caption "Why?"
I am not writing this blog as an advocate of SnapChat celibacy. I, too, have fallen victim to this sinful app.
Over the past few weeks, I have noticed a serious increase in ShapChat activity. The variety is wonderful. A particular highlight of mine is my friend holding a courgette, in a wholly innocent manner I might add, with the simple caption: "Courgette."
Hours of fun. Or should I say, 6 seconds.
Of course the appeal of SnapChat stems from the time limit you set on the photo you send. The most embarrassing, inappropriate and random picture can vanish in a matter of seconds, never to be seen again. This feature has led to SnapChat being used as a platform for sexting.
Or should I say "Snap - xting?"
No, you're right, I shouldn't.
There are several articles entitled "ShapChat is ruining my relationship", probably down to this feature. Although, of course, you can screenshot SnapChats so that they are saved for all eternity, but that's a different story and probably several months worth of relationship counselling.
Alas, there is a more urgent problem afoot.
SnapChat is always on our minds. When we're drinking coffee, on a train, watching television. Needless to say, I have received many a SnapChat of what I am sure are delightful cappuccinos, blurry landscapes and shots of Spencer Matthew's face. But surprisingly, we are also revising with SnapChat in mind: how can I make that Sartre quote "SnapChat relevant"? Is it even possible to take an existential SnapChat? Maybe, I should write my dissertation on that...
Ok, I lied about the dissertation bit.
However, speaking personally, I am beginning to confuse the euphoria of sending an, at best, vaguely ironic SnapChat about my revision with the satisfaction of actually revising. In short, I'm not really doing anything other than sending my friends pictures of my dog in various outfits.
So, I am putting my foot down. From this day forward, there will be no revision themed SnapChatting. Indeed, there will be no SnapChatting until my exams are over. I urge you to do the same. That little bouncing ghost has become too alluring. I am going cold turkey... in a minute.
Ok. Done. SnapChat, over and out. See you on the other side.