When your wife cannot move at all. Chronicles of a husband whose wife is almost completely paralysed (unable to move or speak).
I was in search for a meaning to my life when our paths crossed. We met on the internet by pure coincidence. It was just another chat with just another stranger. We had much in common, our vision of life and the world was very similar. One could say that we shared idealism and another feature which is important in a relationship; humor. As I got more and more interested in her mind, I became curious and checked out her pictures and noticed in most of them she was sitting in a wheelchair. I did not know how to bring the subject up, so I made a silly remark as; "you must be a very special person". She replied; "you have noticed the wheelchair".
She told me that she suffered from Locked-In Syndrome, which in other words means that; her upper brain works perfectly, but her lower brain is so badly damaged that she cannot send the signals from her brain to her muscles to make them move. The human tongue is also a muscle. Also, a muscle that she cannot move, which in terms means that she cannot speak either.
Kati is in medical terms 95% paralysed. She can stretch out her legs up to certain degrees. She can raise her shoulders a little. She has some movements in her jaw (she can chew a little). She has quite a good command over her neck muscles. However, none of this movements makes her able to do anything by herself. She needs an assistant for everything. To give her to drink, to feed her, to clean her up, to bathe her, etc. Everything!
The only body part she has total command over is her eyes and this what she uses to communicate. Kati speaks with her beautiful and always shining green eyes.
Luckily that with the help of technology she could use the computer which helped her stay in contact with her family, friends and the outside world.
We chatted daily. Every day when I came back from work, I would turn on the computer, and we would chat for hours. Saturday and Sunday, we would chat 2 or 3 times a day. She told me her story. She used to be a model and at 20 years old just when she started to make it she had a stroke. That was back in 1995, and at times doctors thought that only older people (over 40) got strokes and did not give her the right treatment and by the time they had realised what has happened; it was too late. Their disclosure was that due to the severe damage to her lower brain (brain stem) she would never be able to move again.
She sent me an English translation of her autobiography that was published in Finland. I started reading it but about halfway through I decided that I want to learn everything about her, just not from a book. I want to know it in a more personal through sharing my life with hers.
When I met Kati, my life gained purpose. I was looking for a meaning to my life, and my wish became true. Every single second of my life is meaningful. Even in the middle of the night when I am fast asleep. It is so because I share it with an extraordinary woman and because our story can be a form of inspirational to others.
>To see that wishes do become true and when they do they are better than all you imagined they would be.