We all know the Philip Larkin poem but that only applies to our mum and dad, not us as mum and dad, doesn't it?
I've come across so many people in their thirties and forties who are still defined - or at least affected - by their childhood and family experiences. But I'm always mind-blown when I overhear my children slating me or my decisions. My mum and dad did everything deliberately, right? Whereas me... Well, surely my kids understand that the time (err, times) I shouted was because I was tired, and stressed, and I was trying to give up carbs and the gas bill was way higher than expected and I'd forgotten about the MOT being due and, and, and... Oh, I get it.
It's easy to drag our childhood assumptions into adulthood. We recently asked our Quib.ly members 'What did you used to believe as a child that you no longer believe?' Some of the answers were hands-down hilarious:
"That colour had been invented sometime before I was born, because old footage on the TV was always in black and white."
"I thought if I concentrated enough I could fly and you will not believe the amount of hours I have concentrated."
And my favourite: "You had to make a hole at the bottom of a finished boiled egg shell or witches could use them as boats."
And that last guy works for us...
Anyway, one answer really made me stop in my tracks because frankly, I'm not sure everyone is on the same page as this yet:
"I thought that adults always knew the right answer. Now as an adult I realise that I don't."
Not only do we not have all the answers, but do we tell our kids that we do? And do we expect them to forgive us every time it turns out we don't?
Perhaps we need to cut our own folks some slack and fess up to our own kids that, quite honestly, a lot of the time we're making it up as we go along and crossing our fingers that we don't *uck them up.
Quib.ly is a Q&A community for parents and experts to talk about raising happy, healthy kids in a connected world. As many fathers as mothers use the site, and professionals from all fields related to families and technology are welcome.