There's no point pretending that I am unbiased in writing this review because you all know that I have personal connections with some of the people in last night's concert so getting all Shentonesque is pointless.

I hope, however, that you know me well enough by now to know...

The Voice is back!

I wanted to write this blog in letters so small they'd fit on an electron so they would convey not only the scale of my enthusiasm for this show after the first episode but also my total negativity.

Now, I realize that opening with particle physics...

"Georgie Best. Superstar, Wears frilly knickers and a Playtex bra!" I was amongst thousands of kids in the 70s who sang that, oblivious as to the original, and I still sing it whenever the credits come on to Superstar.

We're right in the thick of it now. You can smell...

Everybody just calm down!

For anybody out there who thinks a theatre is where gall bladders are removed, I should inform you that the Da Vinci-like 'Westendproducer' managed to make his Twitter based 'Search for a Twitter Star' into a raging success, in spite of a lack of a major...

Dying for our sins can't have been easy and rising from the dead must have been even harder, but there are those who say that teaching the world forgiveness was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

On September the 21st he's going to have to keep a straight...

LIVE, LIVE, LIVE! The BBC love a bit of LIVE don't they? They spend so much money sending people out to report LIVE for no reason whatsoever because they just can't get enough of it. Some poor, soaked and miserable journo has to stand outside the houses of parliament to...

Finally! We can drop the whole, "We're not the X-Factor. Honestly!" nonsense and get down to a reality sing-off that resembles reality. The good old BBC decided, of course, to do things a little differently though by just having two teams battle it out instead of all four.

Why might...

Before you ask, yes I have watched both 'battle rounds' of The Voice this weekend. Anyone who was on Twitter, and if you weren't then it's probably time to pull the red chord and get the nurse to tell you what it is, will know that I was tweeting my...

So the 'blind' auditions are over at last. They may have been about as blind as the 'all-seeing-eye' but more on that later.

I want to get the good stuff out of the way before I rant about the auditions because, regardless of what may or may not be wrong...

Do you ever get the feeling that the world has cocked a formerly deaf ear in your direction? I'm starting to suspect that those savvy telly types at The Voice are listening to tutting head shakers like me and chucking in a few tweaks, albeit too late.

Week three...

This week we saw The Voice settle into its boots a bit more and start to look, to me, more like the program it isn't, but at least a program I can get into.

If you're going to review a series then not liking it from day one is like...

Right! Before we start- before we even think about starting and are still in bed scrambling for the snooze button, let's get something very clear indeed.

The Voice ISN'T about finding a voice.

Let's just knock that idea on the head and put it in a dark corner to come...

I'm not Jeremy Clarkson. Let me make that absolutely clear. In fact I care not one bit for pretty much everything he says and does and his attitude, which can be summed up as, "Shut the fuck up, hippie, I'm talking," makes me wish I was a short, black lesbian...

In these times of penny-pinching, belt-tightening and hatch batten-downing we're all suddenly obsessed with the price of things. Moreover, we're turning into a population of individual price comparison services and I fear the day when we're all pseudo-Russian rodents may soon be upon us. My wife will automatically quote, and...

I really don't want to do this. It feels like telling your kids you just don't love them any more, or stabbing a Labrador in the nose with a cocktail stick... yeah, well maybe not, that but it's pretty gut-wrenching in any case.

There's a sketch in 'Kentucky Fried Movie'...

"Is it a good song? Well of course it is - don't be stupid!"

That was me and me having our annual Christmas argument about a song that is both rousing and poetically written, and that takes a different look at a holiday that's normally so delicious, wobbly and sugar-coated...

There's been a lot of talk lately, mainly by comics, about the right to be offended. Think about that, it's important: The right to be offended.

What it means is that even though you think swinging cats by their tails is so 'hil-freakin-arious!' you're sure to be...

I was right about The Darkness. Sorry, but while you were all hailing them as the new 'Queen' I was shaking my head and thinking, "That lad's a 'top C' and a bag of chips away from disaster."
I still feel I'm right about button flies. I stand there...

Carlos the Jackal, the notorious terrorist and assassin of the latter part of the last century, hasn't got a nail clipper and he's peeved. It's mainly because he's doing a lot of press and he wants to be presentable. After all, it's a basic human right to have...

I've just seen an ad for Littlewoods, or 'copses' as they should be known.

It's your usual fare. Loads of cute kids on stage at a school and the proud parents beaming from the fold-up chairs below. It's not a nativity of course, god forbid. It's a...