It's that time of year again. Upper lips all over the country are being gradually obscured from view as Movember fever takes hold. As it is a good cause, I thought it would be a good idea to compile a list, with your help, of the 10 greatest movie 'taches of all time. Points will be awarded for bushiness and style...If you take issue with any of the results, please leave your alternatives in the comments below!
Unquestionably one of the most iconic nose neighbours in cinema, Rhett Butler's upper lip became synonymous with cavalier romanticism and features frequently in the hidden dreams of disenfranchised housewives. It may not be the most adventurous, but frankly my dear...
Bushiness: 1 Style: 8
Our first example of the inaccurate cinematic cliché that all people with moustaches are evil. This is an offensive stereotype, but for some reason when Timothy Dalton's face follicles begin to sprout, he can make even Bond look like an untrustworthy menace to society.
Bushiness: 5 Style: 4
Ah, the postage stamp moustache, once indicative of all things joyous and good-humoured. It is a shame that someone came and ruined it for everyone a few decades later, a crime that is easily forgotten when assessing the list of Hitler's misdemeanours. Some brave souls have tried to reclaim it in the past, with mixed results, but I think this one may sadly be lost for ever. I hope you're happy, Adolf.
Bushiness: 2 Style: 8
Sam Jackson's Jules was a part that sent his career into the stratosphere, but I think that his brooding intensity and quotable dialogue were certainly helped by his now-iconic face 'fro. The handle bars and boomerang sideburn combo is certainly a winning one.
Bushiness: 4 Style: 7
Remember when Val Kilmer was an exciting character actor who was as popular with the ladies as he was with the critics, you know, before he went mad, and then all fat, and then mad again? Well I do, and I'm pretty sure it was all down to this moustache in 1993's Tombstone. It really is a thing of beauty. Nice symmetry, even depth and an elegant finish; it remains a career high point.
Bushiness: 3 Style: 9
Another moustachioed villain here, but one every child loves to hate. Spielberg may regard his 1991 take on J M Barrie's Peter Pan as a career low-water mark, but if there is anything to be taken from it, Hoffman sports an exquisitely refined flavour saver, and on top of that, it seems to be familiar with the metaphysical concept of fear, as it twitches when it hears the sound of a ticking clock.
Bushiness: 3 Style: 10
Regular readers will know that Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood is my favourite film, and what helps push TWBB ahead of the likes of The Godfather and Citizen Kane, is Daniel Plainview's magnificent rug. When I die and go to heaven, the first thing I would expect is to be given a hand mirror with the Plainview 'tache starring back at me. Unfortunately due to defective genes, I will have to shuffle off this mortal coil before a mouthpiece of such unrelenting bushiness could be feasible.
Bushiness: 9 Style: 5
A hugely popular choice with our public, Ron Burgundy's womb broom has become as ingrained in the modern popular consciousness as Sex Panther and simpletons developing amorous feelings towards office appliances, and for good reason. It is an impressive and well-kept specimen and a crowd-pleaser that deserves the plaudits.
Bushiness: 8 Style: 7
If there is anyone whose career has been carried by their association with upper lip hair, it is Selleck, and his snot mop was at the height of its powers in 1987. The moustache was praised for its heartwarming performance and chemistry with co-star Nancy Travis and earned itself many awards nominations. Sadly, the success went to its head, and it wasn't long before its involvement in drunken bar room brawls, high profile visits to prostitutes and allegations of racism tragically led to it converting to Scientology in the early 1990's.
Bushiness: 10 Style: 6
The vox populi has been heard, and you're overwhelming favourite, and who can blame you, is Sam Elliott's 'tache as The Stranger, the enigmatic narrator of the Coen Brothers' The Big Lebowski. This one really speaks for itself. Rumour has it that the Coens liked the moustache so much because its face-masking properties meant that they could redub the dialogue however they wanted and nobody would notice. So stand up, take a bow, and accept the prestigious title of Moustache of the Century.
Bushiness: 10 Style: 7
If you'd like to donate some money to the Movember cause, click here for a list of charities doing some great work to promote men's health in the UK and around the world.
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