It's that time of year again. Upper lips all over the country are being gradually obscured from view as Movember fever takes hold. As it is a good cause, I thought it would be a good idea to compile a list, with your help, of the 10 greatest movie 'taches of all time. Points will be awarded for bushiness and style...If you take issue with any of the results, please leave your alternatives in the comments below!
10. Â Clarke Gable- Gone With The Wind
Unquestionably one of the most iconic nose neighbours in cinema, Rhett Butler's upper lip became synonymous with cavalier romanticism and features frequently in the hidden dreams of disenfranchised housewives. It may not be the most adventurous, but frankly my dear...
Bushiness: 1 Style: 8
9. Â Timothy Dalton- Hot Fuzz
Our first example of the inaccurate cinematic cliché that all people with moustaches are evil. This is an offensive stereotype, but for some reason when Timothy Dalton's face follicles begin to sprout, he can make even Bond look like an untrustworthy menace to society.
Bushiness: 5 Style: 4
8. Â Charlie Chaplin- Almost everything
Ah, the postage stamp moustache, once indicative of all things joyous and good-humoured. It is a shame that someone came and ruined it for everyone a few decades later, a crime that is easily forgotten when assessing the list of Hitler's misdemeanours. Some brave souls have tried to reclaim it in the past, with mixed results, but I think this one may sadly be lost for ever. I hope you're happy, Adolf.
Bushiness: 2 Style: 8
7. Â Samuel L. Jackson- Pulp Fiction
Sam Jackson's Jules was a part that sent his career into the stratosphere, but I think that his brooding intensity and quotable dialogue were certainly helped by his now-iconic face 'fro. The handle bars and boomerang sideburn combo is certainly a winning one.
Bushiness: 4 Style: 7
6. Â Val Kilmer- Tombstone
Remember when Val Kilmer was an exciting character actor who was as popular with the ladies as he was with the critics, you know, before he went mad, and then all fat, and then mad again? Well I do, and I'm pretty sure it was all down to this moustache in 1993's Tombstone. It really is a thing of beauty. Nice symmetry, even depth and an elegant finish; it remains a career high point.
Bushiness: 3 Style: 9
5. Â Dustin Hoffman- Hook
Another moustachioed villain here, but one every child loves to hate. Spielberg may regard his 1991 take on J M Barrie's Peter Pan as a career low-water mark, but if there is anything to be taken from it, Hoffman sports an exquisitely refined flavour saver, and on top of that, it seems to be familiar with the metaphysical concept of fear, as it twitches when it hears the sound of a ticking clock.
Bushiness: 3 Style: 10
4. Â Daniel Day-Lewis- There Will Be Blood
Regular readers will know that Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood is my favourite film, and what helps push TWBB ahead of the likes of The Godfather and Citizen Kane, is Daniel Plainview's magnificent rug. When I die and go to heaven, the first thing I would expect is to be given a hand mirror with the Plainview 'tache starring back at me. Unfortunately due to defective genes, I will have to shuffle off this mortal coil before a mouthpiece of such unrelenting bushiness could be feasible.
Bushiness: 9 Style: 5
3. Â Will Ferrell- Anchor Man
A hugely popular choice with our public, Ron Burgundy's womb broom has become as ingrained in the modern popular consciousness as Sex Panther and simpletons developing amorous feelings towards office appliances, and for good reason. It is an impressive and well-kept specimen and a crowd-pleaser that deserves the plaudits.
Bushiness: 8 Style: 7
2. Tom Selleck- 3 Men and a Baby
If there is anyone whose career has been carried by their association with upper lip hair, it is Selleck, and his snot mop was at the height of its powers in 1987. The moustache was praised for its heartwarming performance and chemistry with co-star Nancy Travis and earned itself many awards nominations. Sadly, the success went to its head, and it wasn't long before its involvement in drunken bar room brawls, high profile visits to prostitutes and allegations of racism tragically led to it converting to Scientology in the early 1990's.
Bushiness: 10 Style: 6
1. Â Sam Elliott- The Big Lebowski
The vox populi has been heard, and you're overwhelming favourite, and who can blame you, is Sam Elliott's 'tache as The Stranger, the enigmatic narrator of the Coen Brothers' The Big Lebowski. This one really speaks for itself. Rumour has it that the Coens liked the moustache so much because its face-masking properties meant that they could redub the dialogue however they wanted and nobody would notice. So stand up, take a bow, and accept the prestigious title of Moustache of the Century.
Bushiness: 10 Style: 7
 If you'd like to donate some money to the Movember cause, click here for a list of charities doing some great work to promote men's health in the UK and around the world.
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JC Movember: Big, Bushy and Proud to be Supporting Movember
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Sam Elliott and Tom Selleck always had moustaches, So when we talk about "iconic movie moustaches," they should be iconic to the *characters* they played.
On the other hand, Charlie Chaplin was his own best original creation, as was Burt Reynolds.
Which is to say, I'll cede Jules Winnfield, Ron Burgundy, Doc Holliday, and Chaplin. Someone mentioned Groucho.This piece needs a second part or an addendum.
That said: Kurt Russell in "Tombstone."
What about all of the 70's and 80's baseball greats who wore mustaches? Those were definitely more iconic than Dustin Hoffman's stereotypical pirate prop.
You also forgot everyone's favorite aviation hero, Sully Sullenberger. Airline captains, cops, and fireman are the only ones who can still rock a 'stache (not 'tache) without being confused with a porn star or pedophile.
Charlie Chaplin but no Groucho Marx, no Ned Flanders, no Cheech Marin, no Bruce McGill? And how could you leave off Wilford Brimley?
Had to throw you a badge for mentioning Bruce McGill, one of my all-time favorite character actors. A great mustache man too, beginning with D-Day in Animal House.
And if you're going to go as far back as Chaplin, mustn't leave out the great James Finlayson (who was saying "D'oh!" decades before Homer Simpson ever did). It's only incidental that, when I take off my glasses and squint, I happen to rather resemble him.
By the way, Steven, my resemblance to Edgar Kennedy has not gone unnoticed. If you'd like to make a two-reeler sometime ...
As an old film fan, I wonder if you've caught these notable non-L&H appearances by Finlayson and Kennedy:
A clean-shaven Jimmy's the caddy ("Mr. MacTavish") who so expertly bounces golf balls to Fred Astaire to tee up between tap riffs in "Carefree" (in a Scottish-themed number Irving Berlin called "Since They Turned Loch Lomond Into Swing");
Kennedy as the music-loving P.I. who thinks he's got the goods on symphony conductor Rex Harrison's wife in Preston Sturges' last great film, "Unfaithfully Yours" ("Nobody handles Handel the way you handle Handel!").
BTW, I was recently watching one of the early shorts Keaton did while teamed with Arbuckle, and noticed that, in addition to his other duties, he filled in as one of a bunch of Keystone-type cops behind a huge walrus mustache (but those eyes were unmistakable).
As for that two-reeler, I'm there! What shall it be? Christmas trees, a Model T in a traffic jam, or maybe something with a lemonade stand?
Was this written for a junior high school newspaper? Was this originally intended as ad copy for a local-market car commerical? Do you not have an editor? A proofreader? ANYTHING/ANYONE that could/should stop you from starting off a piece without the use of a phrase that screams "DO NOT READ ME. NO GENUINE THOUGHT OR INSIGHTS WERE EMPLOYED IN THE WRITING YOU WILL WITNESS HERE"
Thanks for this. Mustaches are important additions to certain actors' look, and so, in my opinion, are cowboy hats. So I hope you'll look at a recent piece of mine in Huffington Post, about a man in Montana that makes such hats. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terence-clarke/cowboy-hats_b_997039.html
Many thanks,
Terence Clarke
Do you know anything about movie stars?
You need some film history.
Dustin Hoffman's Hook mustache is neither iconic or particularly important in any way.
Nor is Timothy Dalton's.
Tom Selleck's most important mustache was for his TV show, Magnum P.I.
And that's not even Daniel Day Lewis' best mustache. Much better lip hair in Gangs of New York.
You really do need some film history.
Limp.
PS: XO