THE BLOG

Why I Chose Porn

28/07/2016 08:02 | Updated 28 July 2016

My friends call me Jade, but my Twitter followers know me as Carly Rae. I'm 23 and I live in Manchester. I studied fashion at university and have a degree. But instead of pursuing a career in the fashion industry I've made a career choice some people find shocking. I explain why in a BBC Three documentary called Jade: Why I Chose Porn. I'm hoping people will watch it and understand the choice I've made.

Being in this documentary is important because I wanted to create a piece that truly reflects the adult industry as I see it. Usually in the media we only see the negative impact it can have on a person's life or people who got into it for the wrong reasons. We see a view of the industry that's one-sided. For me, it's not like that. I love my job and the opportunities it has given me.

I'm not pretending it's perfect. What job is? At times it's exhausting. And I can be incredibly lazy at the best of times. There are long hours and early starts, waking up at 6am for an 8am train to London and not returning home until 11pm. But this would be the same for anyone who has to commute across the country for a living.

I could never have dreamed of spending my life travelling the world, particularly not as a model. I want people to understand that it has changed me for the better. Diving head first into the adult industry meant I had to grow up fast. It's helped me develop into a confident, well-rounded person. It's given me an understanding of life I would never have achieved by going down a different career path.

In the programme I talk about some of the complications of the industry too. Landing a boyfriend that's cool with dating a porn star is a rarity. There can be difficult moments on set, like when the film catches me in a moment of panic after a shoot. I also talk about getting injured by a well-endowed man because I didn't warm up properly. But it's very rare that I'm in situations like that. I've learned from experience. Like any female in a male dominated world, once in a while, you have to fight for your opinion to be recognised. Although we're an equal industry, at times it can be hard to get your word across. But this is rare too.

Not only has porn helped shape me as an individual, it has taught me things sex education didn't. I know the girls we see in magazines and on TV have been altered to perfection and that my body is normal. Watching pornographic films and being around other industry girls taught me that I'm not alone and that females go through the same complications as myself every day. It's bloody difficult to be flawless. I accept my body and I am confident about my image. I feel lucky that I've been financially stable since the age of 21 (a luxury for most people my age). In the film I explain that I am a feminist. I'm in control of my life, and the decisions I make along the way. I'm my own boss. I decide what shoots I do and don't undertake with no pressure from a third party. All these positives outweigh any negatives.

When people watch the programme I want them to understand that pornographic actors don't always conform to the stereotypes people have. The negatives shown in the media and talked about by politicians aren't always correct. When people ask me about my career they ask if I actually enjoy my job, accompanied by a look. Most people are very sceptical about my chosen career. They have the impression that I've been forced to undertake roles in films, instead of believing that I could actually be passionate about the industry, and that this is what I want to do with my life.

I take negative reactions in my stride. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I understand that porn isn't for everybody. The way I think and live my life is completely liberated and not everybody has such a laid back approach. We live in an age where it's still not acceptable for women to talk about periods, so I know we have a long way to go until the majority of society thinks like me.

My ambition is to live life to the full and to keep on living by this mantra. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made up until this point. Unlike many career focused people, I don't have a five or ten year goal. As long as I'm successful and happy, then I'm hitting my target.

Jade: Why I Chose Porn is available from bbc.co.uk/bbcthree and BBC Three on iPlayer on Tuesday 2 August from 10am

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