James Thomas
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This is Astonishing Sod, the schmuck who writes @CrimerShow, @AstonishingSod, @GogglSerch, @TerbilDraems, @freints_show, @FrasserShow, @NewsForBabies, @TheBookOfFlim, @CrimerBuke, @A_Insane_Men, @DoctorWhomnt, @TrousuredMamory and @FridayNiteDisco, among others. I've written a silly book - entitled I'm With "I'm With Stupid" - and am working on others. I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus.
The link at the end of this sentence leads to my website.

Entries by James Thomas

I'm Running for President of Twitter

(1) Comments | Posted 28 January 2014 | (23:00)

You heard me. This is neither joke nor jape, neither jest nor jibe. This is real, dammit, as real as the fingers on my hands, as real as the piece of corn wedged between two of my back teeth since teatime. I'm running for President of Twitter harder than you've...

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Oscar Winners (Leaked)

(0) Comments | Posted 16 January 2014 | (18:35)

I have here before me the complete list of this year's Oscar winners.
Please don't ask me where I got them. I'll never tell*.

Best Actor in a Leading Role
DeForge Gliffiths, 'Nobody's Wax'
Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Olfactory...

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The Year In Review

(1) Comments | Posted 1 January 2014 | (23:00)

Remember the year? Well, now you can, with the help of this: this year's Review of the Year, called "The Year In Review" - the year being This Year. This is the review, beginning now.

SPORT
There is now more sport than ever. This is because sport...

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How to Write a Sentence

(1) Comments | Posted 5 December 2013 | (15:31)

Well, here you are, looking at this, trying, hoping, floundering, scrabbling, wishing, dying to found out the mystery of "How to" write a sentence. Or possibly you have tried write sentence and failed utterly.

Never mind and never fear. I am an, thankfully, expert of sentences. Read on and...

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Why I Did What I Did in the Cathedral

(0) Comments | Posted 28 November 2013 | (00:54)

Dear Reader,

Firstly, what you need to know about me is that when I have to eat, I really have to eat. I mean, try getting me to do anything when I'm hungry, and see how far it gets you. Conversation? Forget it. I'm too busy rocking back...

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Lady Gaga's Next Video

(1) Comments | Posted 20 November 2013 | (23:00)

Script discovered by Astonishing Sod.
(top secret, so don't tell ANYBODY)

INT. FLOTATION TANK - WHENEVER
Close-up of a FOOT covered in SNAILS. It is LADY GAGA's foot (one of). We see the snails moving around. Footage is 100 times the normal speed. There is...

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