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James Wharton

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Who Died and Made the Church God?

Posted: 21/02/2012 23:00

Gay marriage is coming... And thank the lord!

When I had my civil partnership in 2010, it was simply the happiest day of my life. My husband and I sealed our relationship, forever, in the company of the people we loved the most, with words we had chosen especially for that occasion. Dressed in full state uniform, usually reserved for the Royal Family, I married my man proudly and with true meaning.

But would I have chosen a religious ceremony, if I'd have had the choice?
You bet I would!

Why should a man and a women have the exclusive right, and indeed honour, of exchanging their lifelong promise to each other in the presence of God? What makes me different? I say my prayers. I join in at 'heterosexual' weddings by wishing newlyweds the very best, even saying a prayer for them. I even swore an oath to God that I'd protect Queen and Country as a young 16-year-old boy facing military service. Why shouldn't I be afforded the same respect from a faith that I have served so well?

The answer is... I should be. And I'm very confident that people like me - a gay person who chooses to get married, soon will be allowed to do so. Just because a few people who have appointed themselves spokespeople of the divine have to drag us through a quite hurtful protest about 'their' rights along the way. What about our rights?

Lets think back to 2004 when the Civil Partnership Act was being introduced. Those same bigots who exclaim our 'lifestyle choices' infringe their human rights, kicked up exactly the same fuss as we see the Coalition For Marriage (C4M) doing today. Even an (Ex) Archbishop has thrown himself wholeheartedly into the argument, leading C4M's calls for legal intervention. I wonder if they have asked for 'Divine Intervention' yet? I bet you they've tried.

Unsurprisingly, the Daily Mail has all but publicly announced its support of the group, describing it as 'a new grassroots organisation', and even permitted (Ex) Archbishop, Lord Carey, to blog about it on their own Mail blogging site, RightMinds.

So what is the problem? What will it actually mean to Lord Carey if this act goes through?

Can anybody offer a fair and just answer to this question? Is this going to affect straight people who are getting married? Well according to the C4M homepage, it just might, and one or two other things also... "If marriage is redefined, those who believe in traditional marriage will be sidelined. People's careers could be harmed, couples seeking to adopt or foster could be excluded, and schools would inevitably have to teach the new definition to children. If marriage is redefined once, what is to stop it being redefined to allow polygamy?"

So, as it states... if gay marriage is passed, straight people are going to be out of work. Nothing like a threat to jobs in a time of increasing job losses. Some very straight forward individuals, the sort that read the Daily Mail perhaps, will read that and actually believe it. And C4M know this... that's why they have put it in there! And what about the image they have chosen to use as their campaign logo? A white man, a white woman, and their two children -one boy and one girl, of course.

I'm very grateful to have a number of gay friends who have either gone fully through the adoption process and now provide a very safe home and environment to a child that was once not so fortunate to have such a thing, and a number of friends who are still awaiting either approval or child placement. This sight reflects family life in the 19th century. As do the views of Lord Carey.

Thanks to a number of high profile individuals, including prime minister David Cameron, there is a growing likelihood and belief that C4M's petition and campaigning will not deter the bill being passed in the House of Lords; but with the views of Lord Carey and other faith leaders across the land, it makes the prospect uncertain, still.

Lord Carey and his C4M bunch should be more sympathetic to the realities of the modern world in 2012. Instead of circulating 19th century propaganda and outdated ideologies. More so, they should think a little more about how this makes other human beings feel. If they enjoy bringing stress and misery to other men and women; if they enjoy discriminating against other people just on the basis of who they love, and if they want to make the church even more excluding of individuals than it already is, then they ought to be spending more time and energy questioning their own faiths.

 

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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Sorab Shroff
11:41 AM on 03/23/2012
Lovely post, thanks!
05:01 PM on 03/12/2012
Perhaps you've missed something 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
06:01 PM on 03/04/2012
I am not gay my wife and I have been together for 34 years. It seems odd that only heterosexual people can enjoy being married, we do not get up one morning and say oh I am gay or not. Yet this draconian faith the Church of Rome feels it is right to ostracize gay people. Maybe they need to look at themselves they have harboured terrorist in Northern Ireland and goodness knows how many of their priest are guilty of child abuse.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Toutlaguerre
eyes tell the story
12:23 PM on 03/03/2012
"Who died and made the church God?" For years people have allowed the church to dictate what they should and should not do in their lives, albeit erroneously at times. The author himself stated “I even swore an oath to God that I'd protect Queen and Country as a young 16-year-old boy facing military service”. Although God is implicated, the reality is that this translates to mean that he was willing to give his life in military service as a soldier at war under the blessings of the church. This debate on same sex marraige is typical example of people conferring undue great authority on the church. If the church says yes or no about same sex marraiges people are going to be riled up. However the fact remains that the bible is the highest authority on marriage not the church. The solution is simple, what does the bible have to say? The standard for marraige has been set from the very beginning when the first marraige was performed in Genesis 2:22-24. A man and a woman were brought together before the highest legal and moral authority, Jehovah God, the Universal Sovereign. Jesus Christ reiterated this standard in Matthew 19:4-6, male and female joined by the authority of God. Hence the church has no right to go against the authority of the bible by having an opinion contrary to biblical standards, including marriage.
11:43 AM on 03/04/2012
god was speaking of a man and a woman, thats preetty clear
09:16 AM on 02/24/2012
The important point is that The Church, any church, should want to honour the marriage of LCpl Wharton. With its very relevance threatened, this is exactly the sort of person they need "on their side".

As James notes, it is pretty inevitable that we will reach marriage equality in the UK this year. The government begins its consultation next month, and a recent Telegraph straw-poll indicated an 80% support for equality. Although some conservative opposers have tried to claim the opposition of "over 100 MPs" these remains nameless, and research by Conservative group LGBTory puts the figure at less than 30 and falling.

Many progressive churches have already indicated that they will welcome the ability to conduct all marriages. The Church of England will have a choice, as it should, to become important to a whole new group of people or to remain the dinosaur it has become.
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11:25 AM on 03/11/2012
Churches and God parted company long ago.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
10:42 AM on 02/23/2012
I respect this man's service to his country. As is the case in the US, it would seem that GLBT people are good enough to provide a service or to fight for their country, risking death or serious injury, but not good enough to be able to marry the one that they love.

As for civil marriage, that should absolutely be available to both gay and straight. The government in Britain might wish to consider permitting those churches who wish to marry same-sex couples do so whilst allowing those churches who do not wish to do so go their merry way.
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03:12 AM on 02/23/2012
The church constantly claims that marriage is a purely religious concept/contract. However, this is clearly untrue as it has been used to shape social and political policy for centuries. Once you get to the point where governments give tax breaks for married couples, where law and social tradition are bound up in the act, then you can't claim exclusive rights to it. You can't have it both ways.
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01:16 AM on 02/23/2012
The thing about churches is they're pretty much like a club.

They have their rules.

If you keep within their rules then you don't have a problem.

But if you don't .... well, you need to find another club (or should I say 'church').

Most mainstream churches (as well as many other faiths) have pretty much defined what marriage is: the formal union between one man and one woman. i.e That's one of their 'rules' -- and that's not going to change anytime soon.
11:45 PM on 02/22/2012
I could write an equally "glowing" article about my marriage to my wife (female) and her giving birth to my son but I don't feel it is necessary to do so...........
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DaveJohnWard
09:58 PM on 02/22/2012
Is the church ( / Daily Mail) claiming that Marriage is a Christian event, and that therefore they should have the final say over who can or can't get 'married', or is this just blatant homophobia? I know where my money is.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
demcratville
Science makes you think.
09:52 PM on 02/22/2012
"The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool" - Voltaire http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=scarHc8RA0g
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ppenguinator
Life's too imprtant to be taken seriously.
09:31 PM on 02/22/2012
"People's careers could be harmed"

Of all the Anti gay-marriage points made, this must be the stupidist. I struggle to think of one job that could be lost by the legalisation og gay marriage, and many that could be gained.
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Intelligenti Pauca
Be Seeing You
08:39 PM on 02/22/2012
Marriage is a civil union, not a religious union. That is a fact.
08:16 PM on 02/22/2012
why do people claim to believe in God, then act in a way that He has said to be sinful? Did Christ not say, "If you love me then keep my commandments". I guess it is another one of life's mysteries.
10:05 PM on 02/22/2012
And what exactly did Jesus say about homosexuality?

" "
10:36 PM on 02/22/2012
Try reading the Book! The King James Version is the generally recognised version you can get it from any library if you do not have one.
07:44 PM on 02/22/2012
If the church does not want to conduct same sex marriages fine it should be their perogative.If homosexuals, lesbians etc still want to have a church wedding breakaway and start their own church.
The CoE was originally a break away church as was the protestant movement and many other sects.There is always room for one more