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A Tale of Two Corbyns

14/08/2015 10:28 BST | Updated 13/08/2016 10:59 BST

So often we choose to ignore the basic "rule of thumb" that, when two peas come out of the same pod, it's a rare instance when those two peas don't share 80% of the others' characteristics.

Firstly, I am a family man; secondly, a businessman and finally, I am a floating voter. I vote for the party that I believe will ultimately prove best for the future of my children and grandchildren. I also vote for the party that I believe will be best for my businesses which will serve my employees well for their future. The better my business performs under a good government, the better I can reward my employees.

If pollsters are to be believed, Jeremy Corbyn is going to be the next man in charge of the Labour Party. I do so hope that they are right, not least because it will mean that Labour will be unelectable for at least 15 to 20 years. And remember, just because a party becomes "electable" it doesn't necessarily mean that they will win an election... it simply that means that they are, in theory, capable of winning.

Let's compare the two Corbyn brothers. Piers Corbyn is the older brother and he runs a one-man, long-range weather forecasting outfit. His company is a favourite of The Daily Express which uses his "predictions" (more often wrong than right) as front page headlines on "slow news days".

His website suggests that they are "World Leaders in Long Range Weather and Climate Forecasting". With that type of claim one might wonder why my own, not insubstantial, air conditioning company doesn't subscribe to Corbyn's "world leading" service? An extremely accurate long range weather forecast would be worth hundreds of thousands, if not many millions of pounds to my business' bottom line and I would very willingly agree to fork out a couple of thousand pounds per year for even 75% accurate information rather than his annual £60 subscription fee. The truth is, however, that long range weather forecasts are seldom accurate for longer than 3 days. And yes, I'd rather put my faith in the forecasts of a well-funded Meteorological Office (however often they may get it wrong) spending tens of millions using the latest satellite imagery than trust a one-man outfit who relies on "...predictable aspects of solar particle and magnetic activity and sun-earth connections and their modulation by lunar effects..."

So back to the "two peas in a pod" theory. I would trust Jeremy Corbyn only a shade more with the economy than his "world leading" weather forecasting brother. If Jeremy's business plans for UK Ltd are anything like his brother's business plans then may whichever super-natural being you believe please help us, and help us quickly!

Just the briefest of looks on Companies House will reveal that the world leading weather forecaster has had 3 limited companies and all have been dissolved. I suggest that if Corbyn the Younger ever came to power and got his hands on the financial reins of the country we would also find the United Kingdom finances dissolving.

On Corbyn the Elder's website he even shouts support for his brother's quest to become Labours' next leader and goes so far as to claim that "..."he stands for open ACCOUNTABLE evidence-based decision-making and economic and financial management. That can only be good for #NewBeginnings for an #Accountable #WeatherService, evidence-based #Climate Policy and indeed all matters involving the application of #Science and #Public Services and #Transport.

Derrrrrr! What's that again....?

If Corbyn the Younger's economic and financial management comes from the same pod as Corbyn the Elder's, and it very much sounds that way, then roller-coaster ride here we come. And we know what can happen to roller-coasters...

Trust me, there sincerely isn't a better predictor than "peas in a pod". Enjoy the ride if you're supporting Jeremy Corbyn, but please don't come to me for any financial management position that my group of companies might advertise in the Recruitment Section of your newspaper. You won't even get to the interview stage (go on, report me to ACAS). I value the future of my company and the well-being of my staff way too much to trust it to a Corbyn supporter.