Jim Smallman
I'm currently a nomadic stand-up comedian with a lot of tattoos and even more baggage. I perform all over the UK and beyond, despite being too old (34) to appear on BBC3 or E4. I'm fond of doing incredibly silly things in the name of winning a bet. I have a daughter called Amelia who appears a lot on any material that I write, as she's the sensible yin to my childish yang. She's nine years old. I'm a nerd, a proper one (not just someone with thick-framed glasses who claims to be one to meet girls) with an obsession with video games, films, music, comic books, comedy (obviously), 1980s kids TV, wrestling and technology. I grew up in rural Leicestershire so despise the political party that allegedly rules our nation. I get angry with a lot of things, especially east London hipsters. I once talk a horse through a McDonalds drive through and I've been tazered. Not at the same time. I'm on twitter - @jimsmallman - and have a website - www.jimsmallman.com - where I list my upcoming gigs and upload videos comparing Jessie J to inanimate objects. I have too much time on my hands. God help you all.

Entries by Jim Smallman

Atmosphere Over Money: A Trip to Borussia Dortmund

(0) Comments | Posted 17 February 2015 | (23:00)

It's ironic that in a week where the Premier League has signed a record-busting new television deal - and we're all meant to be saluting the juggernaut that is English top flight football - that I've been contemplating an experience that has made me realise how far removed the beautiful...

Read Post

It's All Come to This: GTA V Launch Day Experiences

(0) Comments | Posted 17 September 2013 | (15:24)

I am seriously into video games. If you're in any doubt as to my hardcore gamer credentials, let me list them for you:

1: I've got most of my body tattooed, and most of the ink represents my love of video games. A sleeve of girls from titles well known...

Read Post

It's What Saturdays Are For: Match 1: Bristol City vs Wolves

(0) Comments | Posted 19 August 2013 | (16:19)

It Begins

I do love a project, and my taking in a game every Saturday project has begun in earnest. If you don't know what I'm talking about, have a click here and see what I'm up to. Maybe you can help me out or hang out with...

Read Post

Meeting Your Heroes: Foley Is God

(0) Comments | Posted 29 April 2013 | (13:44)

Over the past weekend I have been lucky enough to be supporting professional wrestling legend turned stand-up comedian Mick Foley on tour. This is his third tour of the UK that I've worked on, and I think that I'm now familiar enough with him to consider him a friend. This...

Read Post

Luis Suarez: Dealing With a Cannibal

(20) Comments | Posted 23 April 2013 | (00:00)

I wasn't very well on Sunday. I spent the entire afternoon on the sofa, feeling extremely sorry for myself and with barely enough energy to change television channels. Look, I'm a man, I can't handle being sick.

Two football matches in one afternoon made for perfect drifting in and out...

Read Post

Transfer Deadline Day: Club by Club Guide

(0) Comments | Posted 1 February 2013 | (15:33)

Like most football fans I'm glued to the TV when it's transfer deadline day, in the vain hope that my team will buy the talisman that we need to get promoted and chase trophies. When I say "talisman", I mean a tough tackling midfielder, the granite jawed captain figure, Mr...

Read Post

Followers: Dropping Like Flies

(1) Comments | Posted 25 January 2013 | (16:34)

I obsess over my number of Twitter followers. I'm fairly sure that most people do - well, my Mum probably doesn't, but you know what I mean. I check how many I have every day (5,455 seeing as you asked) and will have a monthly check that most of the...

Read Post

The REAL Threat To Society: The 50-Something Middle Classes

(0) Comments | Posted 7 January 2013 | (15:26)

Before I get to my point about a very real threat to the equilibrium of society, I need to explain what I look like - because appearances are both important and deceptive. It doesn't matter that I've got a degree, or am from a loving family, or that I can...

Read Post

Make Your Own Glastonbury

(3) Comments | Posted 8 October 2012 | (00:00)

I awoke Sunday morning to a storm of complaints on my Twitter timeline because nobody could get hold of Glastonbury tickets. With this in mind, I have drawn up the following tips to enable you to have your own Glastonbury in the comfort of your own home, saving you several...

Read Post

Making The Party (Conference) Season Better

(0) Comments | Posted 19 September 2012 | (20:41)

As I drove to a gig the other night I was forced to listen to Radio 4. Not at gunpoint or anything like that (although I imagine anyone choosing to do such a stick-up would use an antique musket), merely because my phone was out of battery and it meant...

Read Post