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Jody Brettkelly

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Brilliant Old Birds: The Queen and Joan Collins

Posted: 25/05/2012 17:57

Could you imagine two more brilliant old birds in one room than The Queen and Joan Collins? A pair of truly regal women who have remained true to their iconic style and stayed "in character" all their lives. Look at these photos. With a combined age of 165, such an abundance of fabulousness.

This week, Joan Collins celebrated her 79th birthday with the 86-year-old Queen at a Diamond Jubilee arts celebration in London.

I'm certainly not a royalist - why should a handful of people get riches, power and land just because they have big ears and posses the bald gene...that's why they get all that stuff right? ( Mind you, from all my readings about landed gentry, it seems footing the bill for a drafty old pile and risking the sulks from a servant if one ventures into the kitchen to make one's own sandwich provides it's own punishment.)

But there is something endearing about a woman like Elizabeth Windsor who does her job and keeps schtum, despite all the drongos surrounding her.

Consider the terrific-ness:

The Queen: the silver hair whooshed up and back with girl-ish curls at the ends, touch of lippy, no mascara, sparkly but comfy dress, slightly suntan pantyhose, swollen feet and ankles, patent leather court shoes. Do we know what she is thinking? No we do not, because that is part of her job.

The Joan Collins: Signature eyeliner on upper and lower eyelids, glossy vermilion lippy, great pins, wig on straight. Is that ruched creamy pink dress flattering? Maybe not, but it is part of her Eighties embrace and as such is perfect. Was she the best actress in the world? Who knows but she certainly elevated Dynasty into art with her arch delivery followed by her snappy turn-on-heel. Dominique asks: "I hear you get seasick on yachts." Alexis: "Only small yachts."

And so Queen and Joan Collins, fully-fledged members of the Brilliant Old Birds Club, I do curtsy to thee.