I've just turned 35. Yep, I officially now have to tick the "35-44" section of any questionnaires I ever need to fill in. I might be getting old, but I feel great. Well, great that is until a 22 year-old friend recently said I'd make an excellent "sugar daddy". For those out of the loop with this sort of terminology, a sugar daddy is a man who is somewhat quite a lot older than his partner and generally pays for said partner's expensive lifestyle.
Me, a Sugar Daddy?
It never even dawned on me that I'd be labeled a "sugar daddy", especially not at 35 anyway. Sure, my hair might be getting a tad greyer and my "crow's feet" slightly more prevalent. But, I certainly don't feel that I'm at that age where I need to feel good about myself by finding someone 17 years my junior and paying for their lavish lifestyle along the way. But, some people do, and that's fine.
The Appeal of Being a Sugar Daddy
A friend of mine, Tom who's 38 years-old recently started seeing someone 15 years his junior. We'd known for a while Tom was seeing someone but only met her for the first time for lunch a few weeks ago. As soon as she went to the toilet for the first time we all stared at him with a "what's the deal?" expression on our faces. He looked back at us saying "what?". He'd just gone through a messy divorce after being married for 12 years and said it made him feel young again, like it had given him a new lease on life.
We quizzed Tom heavily whilst we had the chance. Questions like whether her parents know she has a sugar daddy. Whether his parents know he's seeing someone so much younger than he is. Tom made it quite clear that is was still early days and that he didn't want to say anything until a little more time had passed as people would think he was just on the rebound (for which he clearly was). Fair enough.
He then moved swiftly onto what he saw as positives. "She doesn't have any baggage" he said with excitement. "I don't have to listen to her tell me about a failed relationship or sending her kids to a decent school". Again, if those are things that matter to him, why not?
More Than Meets the Eye
For a lot of "sugar daddies" it's a fetish. It's not just about the "togetherness" or a "relationship". The whole idea of lavishing younger women with gifts and a certain high-society lifestyle is a huge turn on for them. And, hey - if they feel good doing it, then who are we to say it's wrong? A lot of us need some sort of validation in our lives and what's more validating than walking around in public with a young, attractive woman on your arm?
There are various sugar daddy websites (surprise surprise) that can help younger women find older men who are willing to lavish them with gifts. There are so many in fact that freesugardaddysites.net actually lists various "sugar daddy dating" sites and rates them in case you're unsure which one's for you.
So, Where Does That Leave me?
Well, I can't see myself being a very good sugar daddy at 35, despite what my 22 year-old friend thinks. Firstly, I certainly don't have the money to be able to pay for my own lifestyle let alone someone else's. I also don't feel like I need someone younger to fill a certain void or even find it a turn on - not to say that 60 year-old me won't, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.