Your MANual to Speaking and Understanding "Man Language" - 10 Things All Women Need to Know
1. Don't expect your man to multitask
Don't talk to your man about important things or your relationship when he is doing something else. Likelihood is he won't pay full attention and you will take it personally and get upset. He's not disinterested - he just works best by focusing on one thing at a time and giving it his full attention.
Solution: Wait until he has finished doing what he is doing and then talk to him and you'll be sure to have his undivided attention all on you!
2. Remember the 30 second rule
If you ask a man for his opinion or how he feels he is likely to take his time to answer. He takes your request seriously and wants to provide you with the best possible answer.
Solution: Ask him a question then wait 30 seconds. During this time say NOTHING! Don't try to hurry him along and definitely don't interrupt him. By the end of the 30 seconds he will usually start to talk - this is the time to LISTEN. Once he trusts that you are not going to interrupt him or tell him what to say, he will say more and more.
3. Men are problem solvers
It can be frustrating when you tell your man about your bad day and he starts telling you how to fix it when you just want him to listen. But remember, while a woman finds huge relief in talking, men are problem solvers. They see you are upset and they want to solve it to make you happy.
Solution: Explain to your man that you would like him simply to listen while you vent! If you would like him to say anything or help you solve anything, let him know. You'll find he gives his full attention to listening and you feel loved, heard and relieved.
4. Men have limited capacity for detail
Men are unable to take in a huge amount of detail. Instead they focus on the facts and getting to the point. So when you start telling him all of the details of your day, you can only keep his attention for so long. He is listening for the main point and if it's too long before you get to it, he will start to switch off.
Solution: Get to the point! Save all the details for your girlfriends. Realize that your man isn't being rude, he is simply being a man. He is interested in what you are saying and wants to hear it but he needs less detail so that he can fully engage, then you feel his love and attention.
5. Don't expect your man to magically know what you need
It is not your man's responsibility to automatically know what you need but it is your responsibility to ask. If you don't ask, the chances are your man won't know and won't give it to you. Or he may try to guess what you need and get it wrong which then makes you upset.
Solution: First, be sure to know what you need yourself. Men are very logical and respond best to clear, specific information so avoid being vague. For example, let's say you would like more affection. Rather than saying "I would like more affection" you might say: "Please would you give me a hug every morning before you go to work." When you ask for what you need in clear, simple terms he'll be more than happy to deliver.
6. Men thrive on appreciation
When a man does things for you and you don't appreciate him, you criticize his efforts or you complain, a man feels disheartened, but the more you appreciate him, the more he'll give you.
Solution: Appreciate what he does for you even if it's not quite what you want. If you need something else be clear and specific. You'll find he will do everything in his power to make sure you are happy.
7. Men are providers
Men are natural providers and need to know what they provide for you. Let's say your man gives you something and you seem to like it but don't tell him why, he may well forget to provide it again.
Solution: Tell your man specifically what he provided for you. For example: "When you hug me and stroke my hair, I feel totally safe and loved." Your man won't be able to wait for the next opportunity to make sure you have what you want.
8. Men need a receptive woman
When your man tries to give you something and you won't let him, he feels sad and even crushed. You may wonder why you don't seem to get what you need, perhaps not realizing that you are pushing him away.
Solution: Allow him to carry your suitcase, open a door for you or run your bath. Let him surprise you and be receptive to his ideas too. He'll simply love surprising you and making you smile.
9. Men want to make you happy!
Men are all about winning and your man needs to know that he can win at making you happy. If he sees you constantly unhappy, eventually he will give up and think that another man can do a better job. You are left wondering where it all went wrong.
Solution: Have faith in him. Your trust will make him be a better man for you. Focus on the things he provides that you appreciate and let him know. Ask for what you need in clear, simple and specific terms. Smile! Then watch as he gives you everything he's got to keep you smiling.
10. Confidence: The number 1 quality a man looks for in his ideal woman
Your man feels genuinely sad when he sees you beating yourself up. He sees you as beautiful, lovable woman - that's why he's with you.
Solution: Be confident in who you are. If there are things you would like to change, do so because you love yourself so much that you're worth it. Then watch as he finds you totally irresistible.
Follow Julie-Anne Shapiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/magnetizinglove