I was so in pieces coming up to the end of my relationship in Aruba. I was empty- emotionally frozen. I was so numb that all verbal abuse felt like a standard procedure. So empty that there were no more tears left to cry no matter how much insults I had to endure.
That same horrible person that was so sweet and funny in front of other people turned into a monster behind closed doors. I have no idea from where I got finally the power to leave.
The few weeks it took to organize my departure still feels like a movie. Everything was calm and friendly when he was around so he would not suspect anything. Then when he walked out the door the crazy havoc started. The first thing I had to take care of was the paperwork for my sweet dog Happy who I had to take to the vet for over a month to get all vaccinations that were needed before she could make the trip. I would not leave Happy to him. He would already get all my furniture and a new car. Thank God, my assistant managed to ship at least my clothes and photos to me afterwards.
I must confess that I hated men back then. I would have never believed that I would love again or get married for that matter.
We all know that life has its plans, and it is full of unexpected surprises.
We had our civil wedding on the 20th of December 2012. It was just a small official ceremony followed by some champagne cake and coffee at home. It was a fun filled relaxed evening. Good practice though to take away some of the stress and prepare me for the emotionally filled wedding day.
My bride maids Irina and Stephanie stayed over for the night before the big day. Irina went to the toilet at 3 am; I woke up and of course, I could not sleep anymore from all the excitement. It was finally at 6.30 when my assistant Cathy came to work. The first thing to do was to eat a bit and drink some coffee. I have to pee on time before putting on the wedding dress. I would have to go the whole day without peeing and that meant without drinking either.
It feels like this marriage is supposed to be. Even nature is with us on this! There is now very much snow; all is white. Trees look beautiful covered in frost. Sun is out and shining making the day as gorgeous as it could be. It was a great weather for a wedding just as I had hoped for.
There were six women in that taxi and spirits were high as we were heading to the country estate where the wedding would be held. On arrival Henning came out and we went immediately to the set (outside)for our wedding shots. It was cold -30 degrees Celsius. Henning was already freezing after the first shoot. Well, I cannot blame him. I had my warm fur on, but he had just his suit on and no special underwear underneath for cold weather. After two different locations, some beautiful shots and frozen fingers of Lauri the photographer we went inside.
About an hour later the ceremony started. A string quartet played the theme of the ballet version of the Sleeping Beauty as I was wheeled down to the (closed) terrace by my father. He handed me over to Henning who took me up to the priest. Henning held my hand for most of the ceremony. I cried a couple of times. Like when Irina was reading from the Bible: what is love (even the priest who has done hundreds of wedding ceremonies had a tear in his eye at a certain moment).
After the ceremony, everybody came to congratulate us. At that moment, I could not hold it anymore and I started to cry like crazy.
After that, we went to the dinner table. Dad gave a speech followed by a toast and then after Henning's mom delivered a speech followed by a second toast.
Just before the slicing of the cake Stephanie and Irina had their power point presentation speech. Everybody loved it. It made people laugh and cry. Their speech was followed by speeches from Henning's best men Leontios and Darrick. The layer cake was beautiful and delicious. It was a chocolate and mocha cake with ten Calla lilies on top that were made from sugar.
After the stroke, a thought that I would get married and have a wedding dance was utterly unimaginable. There I was; in a wheelchair wedding dress on and on the dance floor. Our dance was not a traditional one. It was from the heart and not from the books. We danced to El Amor by Tito El Bambino. The song that made me reply to Henning's message on the internet what started out our relationship.
Later that evening we lit up some Good luck lanterns, and every couple sent one up for us into the frozen sky. It was all SOOO beautiful. It was undoubtedly memorable. The night sky filled with lit pink, orange and yellow lanterns against white snow and pitch black sky.
The wedding was truly like a storybook wedding! Everything was so beautiful but most of all, people partied and had fun. I could not have hoped for a better wedding. It was unbelievable!
I did feel different the morning after. I knew then for sure that we would always stay together.
I am very lucky to have Henning. Usually, you have best and most handsome boyfriends when you are young. I'm almost 40 and I have hands down the best, most intelligent, romantic, funny, sweet, and handsome boyfriend now husband ever!
More than once I have been asked: what I have that normal healthy woman don't. Well, the answer is a positive attitude and a smile. It is as simple as that. I am also asked very often if I do hope on a miracle. To tell the truth, the miracle has already happened.